Post by Hayate on Sept 28, 2007 10:11:24 GMT -5
~ Eternal City of Mac Anu; May 19, 2037 ~
*…Glaive LeGable @home…*
Orion: *holding Magic Tsukasa .hack//Arm* The Magic Tsukasa… It’s finally ours…
Usa-chan: That’s Glaive LeGable – five, Samurai 7 – four! Coolio!!!
Hayate: …Hmm?
*Hayate notices Orion gazing at the Magic Tsukasa intently*
Hayate: …Hey, Izumi?
Izumi: Hmm? What is it?
Hayate: Have you noticed Orion acting weird around the .hack//Arms lately? He looks at them like he’s in a trance…
Izumi: …I’m sure it’s nothing. Orion’s probably just as excited about finding the next .hack//Arm as we are.
Hayate: I hope you’re right…
Coolidge: *sigh* I wonder what Miharu’s doing right now…
Neon: Miharu? Hehehe… What’s the matter, Coolidge? Did you forget about Ren already?
Coolidge: …Ren who?
All: …
*meanwhile, in another guild’s @home…*
Ayliori: What’s the matter, Ren-chan?
Ren: I…don’t know. I sense…a disturbance. Not a bad one, but…a good one.
Ayliori: …Did you get enough sleep last night, Ren-chan?
Ren: I’M NOT GOING CRAZY, OKAY?!?
*…Glaive LeGable @home…*
Neon: …Moving on… What do we do now, Orion?
Orion: Hmm… I’ve actually been hypothesizing something about the .hack//Arms. Not including the Lance Gardenia, each of the .hack//Arms has been found at a Lost Ground.
Izumi: Hey, that’s true. The Blade Orca was found at Morrigu Barrow…
Hayate: …The Blade Sanjuro at Naval Monte…
Neon: …The Magic Tsukasa at Sepia Lin Rovis…
Coolidge: …The Scythe Ryoko at Sif Berg…
Usa-chan: …The Spin Kite at Xerxes Vale…
Izumi: …The Spin Moonstone at Arche Koeln…
Hayate: …The Spin Natsume at Coite-Bodher…
Orion: …and the Spell Elk at Dragus-Runica. 20 .hack//Arms, 20 Lost Grounds… It can’t be just a coincidence.
Neon: …So, do we search the Lost Grounds where .hack//Arms haven’t been found?
Orion: Not yet. There’s something I need to look into first. You’re all dismissed for now.
Coolidge: Hehehe! You sound just like a drill sergeant, Orion!
Orion: DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, SOLDIER?!? DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!
Coolidge: o.0 *gulp*
Orion: …Hahaha!! Just kidding!!
All: …
Usa-chan: …Orion’s sense of humor is scary…
~ Dual City of Breg Epona; May 20, 2037 ~
*Miharu meditates in the back alleys of the city with her eyes closed*
Miharu: …
*suddenly, she hears slowly approaching footsteps*
Miharu: …Whoever’s there can stop hiding now.
: Hehehe… Not bad, girl. Not bad at all.
*Miharu stands up and turns around to face…*
Kyuzo: Yo!
Miharu: …“Yo” yourself, buddy…
Kyuzo: So, I take it you’re the other Hayate? Or should I call you Miharu now?
Miharu: …Do you want something? ‘Cuz you’re disturbing me.
Kyuzo: I have a proposition for you…
Miharu: …
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
*Jack Russell and Claire duel each other in Crimson VS, while Haruhi watches*
Jack: …
Claire: …
Haruhi: …
Jack: …
Claire: …ARE YOU GONNA PLAY A UNIT CARD OR NOT?!?
Jack: I’m thinking, I’m thinking!!!
Claire: You’ve been thinking for seven minutes straight!!!
Jack: Hmm… Okay!
Claire: Gah! Finally! Alright then… 1… 2… 3!
*Jack and Claire play their first Unit Cards at the same time; Jack plays BlackRose of Insight (Assault-type, 4 Cost) while Claire plays Rose Letters (Snipe-type, 4 Cost)*
Claire: HA! Snipe beats Assault, loser!
Jack: Grrrr… That was just the first round!
Claire: Okay… 1… 2… 3!
*Jack plays With My Brother (Shield-type, 3 Cost) while Claire plays Aurora Gaze (Shield-type, 2 Cost)*
Jack: Booyah! My cost’s higher than yours!
Claire: Don’t get cocky, Russell! It ain’t over yet! 1…
Jack: 2…
Both: 3!!!
*Jack plays Reckless Roar (Snipe-type, 4 Cost) while Claire plays Copellia’s Repose (Shield-type, 3 Cost)*
Claire: HA! Shield beats Snipe!
Haruhi: …Actually, it’s a draw.
Claire: Wha…?
Haruhi: “Copellia’s Repose” is a Shield-type Unit Card, so against a Snipe-type Unit Card like “Reckless Roar”, it gains a cost of 1. But now “Copellia’s Repose’s” cost is the same as “Reckless Roar”. It’s a draw.
Claire: …Crap. …Ah, well, it doesn’t matter! I’ll still win the General Battle!
*Jack plays his General Card, BlackRose (Assault-type, 11 Charisma, 11 HP, 3 AP); Claire plays her General Card, Silabus of Canard (Snipe-type, 9 Charisma, 18 HP, 2 AP); because of card type, Silabus of Canard goes first*
Claire: Say yer prayers, Russell!
Jack: Pffff! In your dreams!
***********
TURN 1: Claire’s turn
----------Unit Card Rose Letters activates!
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” – Adds 2 AP at the end of each of
----------your turns when your General goes first.
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 2 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 18 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 9 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 4 AP
TURN 2: Jack Russell’s turn
----------Unit Card With My Brother activates!
----------With My Brother Junction Ability: “Spirit Clothes” – Reduces damage your general
----------takes by 1 point.
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 10 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 15 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 10 HP
TURN 3: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 4 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 15 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 6 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 6 AP
TURN 4: Jack Russell’s turn
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 7 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 12 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 7 HP
TURN 5: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 6 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 12 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 1 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 8 AP
TURN 6: Jack Russell’s turn
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 2 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 9 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 2 HP
TURN 7: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 8 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 9 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 0 HP
CLAIRE: Winner!!! JACK RUSSELL: Loser!!!
***********
Claire: WHOO-HOO!!! Never mess with the best, bitch!!!
Jack: *pounds head on wall continuously*
Haruhi: Um, Miss Claire?
Claire: Huh? What’s up, Haruhi?
Haruhi: May I have a duel with you next?
Claire: *smirk* Oh, really? I didn’t know you played, Haruhi.
Haruhi: I mostly duel Master Kyuzo.
Claire: Well… Okay, sure! But don’t expect me to go easy on you!
*moments later…*
Claire: *cards fall out of hands* …No way… Haruhi beat me… There’s just no way…
Jack: What was that about “never messing with the best”, huh, Claire!?
Claire: *shoves Crimson VS cards in Jack’s mouth* Oh, shut up, Russell!
Haruhi: … *motions victory sign with her fingers*
*…Breg Epona back alleys…*
Miharu: …Okay, let me see if I got this… You want me to fight you in an Arena battle, and if I win, you’ll give me the Magic Mistral grimoire, but if I lose, I have to join the Samurai 7 guild?
Kyuzo: Yup. You catch on fast.
Miharu: …Alright, you got a deal. Besides, I think I can take you. Hah!
Kyuzo: Hehehe… Now, who said that you’ll be facing against me?
Miharu: …If I’m not facing you, then who am I facing?
Kyuzo: *steps to the right and points towards the alley entrance* …Him.
*just then, energetic theme music can be heard playing*
Miharu: …?
*suddenly, Piros VIII falls down from the sky and lands on his feet, creating a small tremor*
Miharu: Whoa!!! What the hell!?
Piros VIII: Salutations, she of fair eyes!
Miharu: o.0 *turns to Kyuzo* …You’re not serious, are you?
Kyuzo: Oh, I’m dead serious, girl.
Miharu: *sigh* Alright, fine, fine. Let’s get on with it. *walks towards the Chaos Gate*
Kyuzo: …Piros.
Piros VIII: Yes, sir!
Kyuzo: Did you find it?
Piros VIII: Indeed I did, sir! It was just where you said it’d be!
Kyuzo: Good. For once, you did something right. If you win this Arena battle, consider yourself Samurai 7’s co-guildmaster.
Piros VIII: …I thought Haruhi was the co-guildmaster…
Kyuzo: …Oh, yeah. Hmm… Alright, if you win this Arena battle, consider yourself Samurai 7’s co-co-guildmaster.
Piros VIII: AT LAST!!! I SHALL HAVE PURPOSE!!! *runs over to Chaos Gate*
Kyuzo: …Sometimes I curse myself for letting such a schmuck join my guild…
*hours later…*
Announcer: WEEEEELCOOOOOME to the Sage Palace, ladies and gentlemen! We bring to you an exhibition match to end all exhibition matches! The Empress of the Sage Palace, Miharu the Scion of Magic, has accepted a challenge from one of the members of the notorious Samurai 7 – Piros VIII!
*in the audience…*
Neon: Oh, man! This is gonna be priceless! Piros getting his ass handed to him by Miharu is gonna totally make YouTube’s day!
Hayate: Why would someone like Piros even challenge the Sage Palace Empress anyway?
Usa-chan: Who knows? Maybe he’s a glutton for punishment.
Coolidge: WHOOOOO!!!!! GO, MIHARU!!!!! KNOCK PIROS’ BLOCK OFF!!!!!
Hayate: …Why’d we bring him along again?
Izumi: *sweatdrop* We didn’t bring him along. He followed us here.
Hayate: …Oh.
Orion: …
Usa-chan: Hey! You think Miharu’s still thinking about our offer to join Glaive LeGable?
Neon: Maybe. We shouldn’t force her though.
Usa-chan: Yeah…
*in the Arena…*
Miharu: *draws staff and grimoire* So, armor boy, you ready to lose?
Piros VIII: Hehehe… *draws scythe*
Orion: …Hmm?
Izumi: You say something, Orion?
Orion: …No. It’s nothing.
Announcer: ALRIGHTY THEN!!! If the participants are ready…let the exhibition match begin!!!
*Miharu sprouts six black wings and takes off into the air*
Miharu: Atem des Eis!!!
*Miharu opens her book and starts twirling her staff; moments later, four giant ice cubes appear around her; she swings her staff and the ice cubes fall down onto Piros*
Piros VIII: Ha-ha!
*Piros swings his scythe four times, instantly destroying the ice cubes on impact*
Izumi: Ooh… Maybe Piros isn’t as idiotic as we thought…
Miharu: Alright… Try this on for size! Mistilteinn!!!
*Miharu opens her book to a different page and starts twirling her staff; moments later, seven spears of light appear around the Arena; she swings her staff and the energy spears rain down on Piros*
Piros VIII: … *smirk*
*Piros simply stands still; the spears strike him, but don’t appear to have any effect*
Miharu: What the hell!?
Piros VIII: Is that all you’ve got, she of fair eyes!?
Miharu: Grrrr…
Piros VIII: Now it’s my turn!
*Piros spins around and swings his scythe, unleashing a powerful arc of energy up at Miharu; she prevents it from touching her PC body, but it slices straight through one of her wings, causing her to lose some altitude*
Miharu: Aah!
Crowd: *gasp*
Miharu: Grrrr… You haven’t beaten me yet! Rapid-Fire Lei Zas!!!
*Miharu fires a multitude of laser beams at Piros, who dashes around the Arena dodging them*
Miharu: You can’t keep running forever!
Piros VIII: True! I suppose I’ll have to go on the offensive then!
*Piros stops running and points his scythe forward; he absorbs the energy of 17 laser beams into the scythe’s sickle before Miharu stops firing*
Miharu: *gasp*
Piros VIII: Right back at you, she of fair eyes!
*Piros swings the scythe again, unleashing another arc of energy – this time 10 times stronger than before – at Miharu, completely disintegrating her wings*
Miharu: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
*her wings gone, Miharu falls down harshly onto the ground*
Miharu: Ohhhh… *stands up and kneels on one knee* Damn… He’s stronger than I thought…
Piros VIII: Do you surrender!?
Miharu: Tch! *picks up grimoire and staff* You wish! Hraesvelgr!!!
*Miharu opens her book and starts twirling her staff; a large amount of energy gathers to the staff’s tip…*
Miharu: FIRE!!!
*…which she fires off in the form of a thick laser beam*
Piros VIII: Oh, please! Not this again!
*Piros points his scythe forward, intending to absorb the energy of the laser beam*
Miharu: … *smirk*
*however, as soon as the laser beam comes into contact with Piros’ scythe, the energy within the laser beam explodes*
Miharu: Gotcha!
*as the smoke clears, Piros is seen standing, still unaffected by Miharu’s attack*
Miharu: What!?
Piros VIII: *dusting self off* You know… Those fancy-schmancy spells of yours are really starting to irritate me… But you wouldn’t be able to perform them…without that book!!!
Miharu: *gasp*
*Piros suddenly releases a swift sphere of fire from his scythe at Miharu’s grimoire, burning it to a crisp*
Miharu: NO!!!!
Piros VIII: There! That’s better! Now then…!!!
*Piros unleashes more arcs of energy from his scythe, which tear through Miharu’s PC body*
Miharu: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Usa-chan: *covers eyes* I can’t watch!
Neon: This isn’t making sense! No matter how many attacks Miharu deals out, Piros doesn’t take any damage!! And at the same time, Piros seems like he’s getting even stronger!!!
Coolidge: MIHARU!!!!!
Orion: …
Izumi: Orion?
Orion: …I knew it!! Piros’ scythe!! It’s a .hack//Arm!!
Hayate: What?!?
Orion: I had this weird feeling ever since Piros first drew that scythe. It looks my suspicions were correct.
Coolidge: But… If Piros is wielding a .hack//Arm, then Miharu doesn’t stand a chance!
Orion: The fact that Piros is wielding that weapon doesn’t concern me. It’s the fact that he was able to tap into the weapon’s inner power.
Neon: What do you mean?
Orion: When wielded normally, the .hack//Arms are nothing more than ordinary weapons. But with a general knowledge and understanding of the .hack//Arms, one can tap into their power and harness its unimaginable strength. It’s how Kurogane was able to eradicate 5,000 PC’s in 17 minutes 3 years ago.
Coolidge: ARRRGGGHHH!!!! This sucks! Miharu’s about to lose the match, and there’s no way we can help her!
Hayate: …Maybe there is a way…!
Izumi: Huh? What do you mean, Hayate?
Hayate: I’ll be right back! *gates out*
Coolidge: BRING BACK NACHOS!!!!!
All: COOLIDGE!!!
Coolidge: What?!?
*in the Arena, Miharu struggles to stand up; Piros walks up and raises his scythe*
Piros VIII: Submit!!! Concede to defeat!!!
Miharu: H-Hell no!!! I’m…not giving up!!!
Piros VIII: Hmph!! So be it!! HYAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Miharu: *closes eyes*
Piros VIII: GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Miharu: Huh?
*Miharu looks ahead to see Piros on the ground with a large burn mark on his chest armor*
Miharu: W-What just…?
: MIHARU!!!
*looking up and behind her, Miharu sees Hayate standing on a suspended platform*
Miharu: H-Hayate!
Hayate: …
Miharu: … *smirk* “You sure you can take ‘em on all by yourself, Hayate-kun?”
Hayate: “You insult me, Miharu-chan! The strength of the one always outweighs the strength of the all! Haishou?”
Crowd: *cheers loudly*
Neon: …What the hell are they saying!?
Orion: It’s a rather famous scene from “Karibu no Kaizoku” – the scene in which Hayate Jin saves Yuuki Miharu from a band of cannibalistic pirates.
Hayate: *takes out Magic Tsukasa grimoire* I thought you might need this! Catch!
*Hayate tosses the grimoire down at Miharu, who catches in her hands*
Hayate: *motions a thumbs-up* Now kick his ass!
Miharu: *motions a thumbs-up* You got it!
Piros VIII: *stands up* Ohhhh… Anyone get the number of that license plate?
Miharu: Hey, you!
Piros VIII: Hmm?
*Miharu slams the base of her staff into the ground*
Miharu: So, you like to play dirty, huh? Well, I can play dirty too!
*she then starts to absorb magic energy from the atmosphere into it*
Miharu: “Converge thee now, forces of light and darkness, and drip thy waterless blood into the cesspool of my soul…”
Neon: Oh! Here it comes!
Miharu: “To this wretched existence that yearns for death, I grant eternal silence…”
Usa-chan: Do it, Miharu!
Miharu: “The wise eagle flies straight into the sun, the flapping of its wings resounding in the stillness of night…”
Orion: …
Miharu: “…Let me be crucified in the blue sky; I shall stand where heaven meets the earth!” RAGNAROK!!!!!
*after drawing in enough magic power, Miharu’s staff unleashes a gigantic blast of light at Piros*
Piros VIII: HOLY CRAP!!!
*the blast of light completely engulfs Piros’ PC body; when the light fades, Piros is seen on the ground, his PC body scorched*
Piros VIII: …That was…even hotter…than the Pit of Despair…
Crowd: *cheers loudly*
Announcer: And it’s over, ladies and gentlemen! What seemed like utter defeat for Miharu is turned around completely as she pulls off one of the most spectacular comebacks in Arena history! This draws today’s exhibition match to a--
: NOT SO FAST!!!
Announcer: Uh… What?
*on the other side of the Arena, standing on a suspended platform across from Hayate, Kyuzo can be seen*
Announcer: What’s this? It seems that Kyuzo, the guildmaster of Samurai 7, has something to say!
Kyuzo: You’re damn right I have something to say! This victory’s a sham!
Crowd: *murmuring*
Coolidge: Good Lord, what’s he doing now!?
Orion: …
Kyuzo: Hayate!!!
Hayate: *gulp*
Kyuzo: Before you so callously interrupted this exhibition match by handing off a weapon to Miharu, did you even once think about the rules and regulations of the Arena?
Hayate: Uh… Rules and regulations?
Kyuzo: Allow me to educate you! Rule number one of exhibition matches – All matches are set up to be one-on-one!
Hayate: What’s your point!? Miharu still fought by herself!
Kyuzo: Rule number two – No outside assistance or interference!
Hayate: *gasp*
Kyuzo: Ah! So, you understand now? Because Miharu received help from you, that counts as an instant forfeit!!!
Hayate: WHAT?!?
Announcer: *reading rules book* Hmm… *closes rules book* I’m afraid he’s right. I have no choice but to disregard Miharu’s current victory and write it off as an immediate disqualification!
Miharu: WHAT?!?
Kyuzo: But wait! There’s more! If Miharu were an ordinary player, I’d overlook it, but because she’s the Empress of the Sage Palace, that brings me to rule number three – If either or both rules one or two is broken by a Palace Emperor or Empress, that player must relinquish their title – effective immediately!!!
Miharu: *gasp*
Crowd: *booing and jeering Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: Hey, don’t look at me! I don’t make the rules – I just enforce them!
Announcer: Empress Miharu, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid the rules are clear on this matter. As of this moment, you are hereby stripped of your title as Palace Empress!
Miharu: *falls to knees* No…
Hayate: …What have I done…?
Kyuzo: … *evil smirk*
*in the audience, Haseo of the Black Flame looks on at Kyuzo*
Haseo: …There’s something about that Kyuzo that aggravates me so much… He’s just like…Sakaki…!!!
*moments later, in Lumina Cloth…*
Orion: …
Izumi: …
Neon: …
Chibi-Usa: …
Coolidge: …
Miharu: …My title…
Hayate: Miharu… I’m so sorry… If I knew this would happen--
Miharu: Hayate.
Hayate: *gulp*
*Miharu wipes away her tears and turns to face Hayate with a smile*
Miharu: I thought about your offer, and…I decided that I’d like to join Glaive LeGable.
Izumi: *gasp* Miharu!
Miharu: I know that you’re fighting Samurai 7. Well, I want to fight them with you. After the way Kyuzo made me look helpless in the Arena, I want to get back at him for it. No one makes the Sage Palace Em-- uh, former Sage Palace Empress, look bad!
Usa-chan: Hehehe! I like her already!
Miharu: Uh… Orion, was it?
Orion: Yes. We’d be more than happy to have you.
Miharu: Thanks. *walks up to Hayate*
Hayate: Hmm?
Miharu: Um… Oh, man, how’d that line go again? …Oh, yeah! “You know, as famous as you are, you have a pretty lousy crew!”
Hayate: “Well, with you in it, it’ll be even lousier!”
Both: Hahahaha!
Coolidge: …I don’t know whether to find this cute or sickening…
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
Tsukiyomi: There’s a big Tag Team Tournament happening in the Arena today, and guess what the grand prize is!! The Blade Balmung!!!
~*~*~*~
Kyuzo: Okay! Here’s how it’s gonna go down! We’ll enter in two teams of three. Team 1 will consist of Haruhi, Jack Russell, and me. Team 2 will be Sammy, Claire, and Piros.
Piros VIII: Alright!!! Time to battle!!! TALLYHO!!!!!
Claire: …Can I switch with Jack?
~*~*~*~
Hayate: So… Who’s our third guy?
Tsukiyomi: He’ll be here soon. …Oh! There he is now!
Kaga: Hey, Tsukiyomi. Sorry I’m late. …Oh, Hayate! We meet again!
~*~*~*~
Announcer: Without further ado, I hereby declare the Azure Campaign…OPEN!!!
21st Phase: An Ominous Overture, Part 1!
*…Glaive LeGable @home…*
Orion: *holding Magic Tsukasa .hack//Arm* The Magic Tsukasa… It’s finally ours…
Usa-chan: That’s Glaive LeGable – five, Samurai 7 – four! Coolio!!!
Hayate: …Hmm?
*Hayate notices Orion gazing at the Magic Tsukasa intently*
Hayate: …Hey, Izumi?
Izumi: Hmm? What is it?
Hayate: Have you noticed Orion acting weird around the .hack//Arms lately? He looks at them like he’s in a trance…
Izumi: …I’m sure it’s nothing. Orion’s probably just as excited about finding the next .hack//Arm as we are.
Hayate: I hope you’re right…
Coolidge: *sigh* I wonder what Miharu’s doing right now…
Neon: Miharu? Hehehe… What’s the matter, Coolidge? Did you forget about Ren already?
Coolidge: …Ren who?
All: …
*meanwhile, in another guild’s @home…*
Ayliori: What’s the matter, Ren-chan?
Ren: I…don’t know. I sense…a disturbance. Not a bad one, but…a good one.
Ayliori: …Did you get enough sleep last night, Ren-chan?
Ren: I’M NOT GOING CRAZY, OKAY?!?
*…Glaive LeGable @home…*
Neon: …Moving on… What do we do now, Orion?
Orion: Hmm… I’ve actually been hypothesizing something about the .hack//Arms. Not including the Lance Gardenia, each of the .hack//Arms has been found at a Lost Ground.
Izumi: Hey, that’s true. The Blade Orca was found at Morrigu Barrow…
Hayate: …The Blade Sanjuro at Naval Monte…
Neon: …The Magic Tsukasa at Sepia Lin Rovis…
Coolidge: …The Scythe Ryoko at Sif Berg…
Usa-chan: …The Spin Kite at Xerxes Vale…
Izumi: …The Spin Moonstone at Arche Koeln…
Hayate: …The Spin Natsume at Coite-Bodher…
Orion: …and the Spell Elk at Dragus-Runica. 20 .hack//Arms, 20 Lost Grounds… It can’t be just a coincidence.
Neon: …So, do we search the Lost Grounds where .hack//Arms haven’t been found?
Orion: Not yet. There’s something I need to look into first. You’re all dismissed for now.
Coolidge: Hehehe! You sound just like a drill sergeant, Orion!
Orion: DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, SOLDIER?!? DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!!!!
Coolidge: o.0 *gulp*
Orion: …Hahaha!! Just kidding!!
All: …
Usa-chan: …Orion’s sense of humor is scary…
~ Dual City of Breg Epona; May 20, 2037 ~
*Miharu meditates in the back alleys of the city with her eyes closed*
Miharu: …
*suddenly, she hears slowly approaching footsteps*
Miharu: …Whoever’s there can stop hiding now.
: Hehehe… Not bad, girl. Not bad at all.*Miharu stands up and turns around to face…*
Kyuzo: Yo!
Miharu: …“Yo” yourself, buddy…
Kyuzo: So, I take it you’re the other Hayate? Or should I call you Miharu now?
Miharu: …Do you want something? ‘Cuz you’re disturbing me.
Kyuzo: I have a proposition for you…
Miharu: …
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
*Jack Russell and Claire duel each other in Crimson VS, while Haruhi watches*
Jack: …
Claire: …
Haruhi: …
Jack: …
Claire: …ARE YOU GONNA PLAY A UNIT CARD OR NOT?!?
Jack: I’m thinking, I’m thinking!!!
Claire: You’ve been thinking for seven minutes straight!!!
Jack: Hmm… Okay!
Claire: Gah! Finally! Alright then… 1… 2… 3!
*Jack and Claire play their first Unit Cards at the same time; Jack plays BlackRose of Insight (Assault-type, 4 Cost) while Claire plays Rose Letters (Snipe-type, 4 Cost)*
Claire: HA! Snipe beats Assault, loser!
Jack: Grrrr… That was just the first round!
Claire: Okay… 1… 2… 3!
*Jack plays With My Brother (Shield-type, 3 Cost) while Claire plays Aurora Gaze (Shield-type, 2 Cost)*
Jack: Booyah! My cost’s higher than yours!
Claire: Don’t get cocky, Russell! It ain’t over yet! 1…
Jack: 2…
Both: 3!!!
*Jack plays Reckless Roar (Snipe-type, 4 Cost) while Claire plays Copellia’s Repose (Shield-type, 3 Cost)*
Claire: HA! Shield beats Snipe!
Haruhi: …Actually, it’s a draw.
Claire: Wha…?
Haruhi: “Copellia’s Repose” is a Shield-type Unit Card, so against a Snipe-type Unit Card like “Reckless Roar”, it gains a cost of 1. But now “Copellia’s Repose’s” cost is the same as “Reckless Roar”. It’s a draw.
Claire: …Crap. …Ah, well, it doesn’t matter! I’ll still win the General Battle!
*Jack plays his General Card, BlackRose (Assault-type, 11 Charisma, 11 HP, 3 AP); Claire plays her General Card, Silabus of Canard (Snipe-type, 9 Charisma, 18 HP, 2 AP); because of card type, Silabus of Canard goes first*
Claire: Say yer prayers, Russell!
Jack: Pffff! In your dreams!
***********
TURN 1: Claire’s turn
----------Unit Card Rose Letters activates!
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” – Adds 2 AP at the end of each of
----------your turns when your General goes first.
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 2 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 18 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 9 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 4 AP
TURN 2: Jack Russell’s turn
----------Unit Card With My Brother activates!
----------With My Brother Junction Ability: “Spirit Clothes” – Reduces damage your general
----------takes by 1 point.
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 10 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 15 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 10 HP
TURN 3: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 4 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 15 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 6 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 6 AP
TURN 4: Jack Russell’s turn
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 7 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 12 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 7 HP
TURN 5: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 6 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 12 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 1 HP
----------Rose Letters Junction Ability “Aurora Tears” takes effect!
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 8 AP
TURN 6: Jack Russell’s turn
----------With My Brother Junction Ability “Spirit Clothes” takes effect!
--------------------BlackRose: 2 HP
----------BlackRose attacks Silabus of Canard and deals 3 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 9 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 2 HP
TURN 7: Claire’s turn
----------Silabus of Canard attacks BlackRose and deals 8 points of damage.
--------------------Silabus of Canard: 9 HP
--------------------BlackRose: 0 HP
CLAIRE: Winner!!! JACK RUSSELL: Loser!!!
***********
Claire: WHOO-HOO!!! Never mess with the best, bitch!!!
Jack: *pounds head on wall continuously*
Haruhi: Um, Miss Claire?
Claire: Huh? What’s up, Haruhi?
Haruhi: May I have a duel with you next?
Claire: *smirk* Oh, really? I didn’t know you played, Haruhi.
Haruhi: I mostly duel Master Kyuzo.
Claire: Well… Okay, sure! But don’t expect me to go easy on you!
*moments later…*
Claire: *cards fall out of hands* …No way… Haruhi beat me… There’s just no way…
Jack: What was that about “never messing with the best”, huh, Claire!?
Claire: *shoves Crimson VS cards in Jack’s mouth* Oh, shut up, Russell!
Haruhi: … *motions victory sign with her fingers*
*…Breg Epona back alleys…*
Miharu: …Okay, let me see if I got this… You want me to fight you in an Arena battle, and if I win, you’ll give me the Magic Mistral grimoire, but if I lose, I have to join the Samurai 7 guild?
Kyuzo: Yup. You catch on fast.
Miharu: …Alright, you got a deal. Besides, I think I can take you. Hah!
Kyuzo: Hehehe… Now, who said that you’ll be facing against me?
Miharu: …If I’m not facing you, then who am I facing?
Kyuzo: *steps to the right and points towards the alley entrance* …Him.
*just then, energetic theme music can be heard playing*
Miharu: …?
*suddenly, Piros VIII falls down from the sky and lands on his feet, creating a small tremor*
Miharu: Whoa!!! What the hell!?
Piros VIII: Salutations, she of fair eyes!
Miharu: o.0 *turns to Kyuzo* …You’re not serious, are you?
Kyuzo: Oh, I’m dead serious, girl.
Miharu: *sigh* Alright, fine, fine. Let’s get on with it. *walks towards the Chaos Gate*
Kyuzo: …Piros.
Piros VIII: Yes, sir!
Kyuzo: Did you find it?
Piros VIII: Indeed I did, sir! It was just where you said it’d be!
Kyuzo: Good. For once, you did something right. If you win this Arena battle, consider yourself Samurai 7’s co-guildmaster.
Piros VIII: …I thought Haruhi was the co-guildmaster…
Kyuzo: …Oh, yeah. Hmm… Alright, if you win this Arena battle, consider yourself Samurai 7’s co-co-guildmaster.
Piros VIII: AT LAST!!! I SHALL HAVE PURPOSE!!! *runs over to Chaos Gate*
Kyuzo: …Sometimes I curse myself for letting such a schmuck join my guild…
*hours later…*
Announcer: WEEEEELCOOOOOME to the Sage Palace, ladies and gentlemen! We bring to you an exhibition match to end all exhibition matches! The Empress of the Sage Palace, Miharu the Scion of Magic, has accepted a challenge from one of the members of the notorious Samurai 7 – Piros VIII!
*in the audience…*
Neon: Oh, man! This is gonna be priceless! Piros getting his ass handed to him by Miharu is gonna totally make YouTube’s day!
Hayate: Why would someone like Piros even challenge the Sage Palace Empress anyway?
Usa-chan: Who knows? Maybe he’s a glutton for punishment.
Coolidge: WHOOOOO!!!!! GO, MIHARU!!!!! KNOCK PIROS’ BLOCK OFF!!!!!
Hayate: …Why’d we bring him along again?
Izumi: *sweatdrop* We didn’t bring him along. He followed us here.
Hayate: …Oh.
Orion: …
Usa-chan: Hey! You think Miharu’s still thinking about our offer to join Glaive LeGable?
Neon: Maybe. We shouldn’t force her though.
Usa-chan: Yeah…
*in the Arena…*
Miharu: *draws staff and grimoire* So, armor boy, you ready to lose?
Piros VIII: Hehehe… *draws scythe*
Orion: …Hmm?
Izumi: You say something, Orion?
Orion: …No. It’s nothing.
Announcer: ALRIGHTY THEN!!! If the participants are ready…let the exhibition match begin!!!
*Miharu sprouts six black wings and takes off into the air*
Miharu: Atem des Eis!!!
*Miharu opens her book and starts twirling her staff; moments later, four giant ice cubes appear around her; she swings her staff and the ice cubes fall down onto Piros*
Piros VIII: Ha-ha!
*Piros swings his scythe four times, instantly destroying the ice cubes on impact*
Izumi: Ooh… Maybe Piros isn’t as idiotic as we thought…
Miharu: Alright… Try this on for size! Mistilteinn!!!
*Miharu opens her book to a different page and starts twirling her staff; moments later, seven spears of light appear around the Arena; she swings her staff and the energy spears rain down on Piros*
Piros VIII: … *smirk*
*Piros simply stands still; the spears strike him, but don’t appear to have any effect*
Miharu: What the hell!?
Piros VIII: Is that all you’ve got, she of fair eyes!?
Miharu: Grrrr…
Piros VIII: Now it’s my turn!
*Piros spins around and swings his scythe, unleashing a powerful arc of energy up at Miharu; she prevents it from touching her PC body, but it slices straight through one of her wings, causing her to lose some altitude*
Miharu: Aah!
Crowd: *gasp*
Miharu: Grrrr… You haven’t beaten me yet! Rapid-Fire Lei Zas!!!
*Miharu fires a multitude of laser beams at Piros, who dashes around the Arena dodging them*
Miharu: You can’t keep running forever!
Piros VIII: True! I suppose I’ll have to go on the offensive then!
*Piros stops running and points his scythe forward; he absorbs the energy of 17 laser beams into the scythe’s sickle before Miharu stops firing*
Miharu: *gasp*
Piros VIII: Right back at you, she of fair eyes!
*Piros swings the scythe again, unleashing another arc of energy – this time 10 times stronger than before – at Miharu, completely disintegrating her wings*
Miharu: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
*her wings gone, Miharu falls down harshly onto the ground*
Miharu: Ohhhh… *stands up and kneels on one knee* Damn… He’s stronger than I thought…
Piros VIII: Do you surrender!?
Miharu: Tch! *picks up grimoire and staff* You wish! Hraesvelgr!!!
*Miharu opens her book and starts twirling her staff; a large amount of energy gathers to the staff’s tip…*
Miharu: FIRE!!!
*…which she fires off in the form of a thick laser beam*
Piros VIII: Oh, please! Not this again!
*Piros points his scythe forward, intending to absorb the energy of the laser beam*
Miharu: … *smirk*
*however, as soon as the laser beam comes into contact with Piros’ scythe, the energy within the laser beam explodes*
Miharu: Gotcha!
*as the smoke clears, Piros is seen standing, still unaffected by Miharu’s attack*
Miharu: What!?
Piros VIII: *dusting self off* You know… Those fancy-schmancy spells of yours are really starting to irritate me… But you wouldn’t be able to perform them…without that book!!!
Miharu: *gasp*
*Piros suddenly releases a swift sphere of fire from his scythe at Miharu’s grimoire, burning it to a crisp*
Miharu: NO!!!!
Piros VIII: There! That’s better! Now then…!!!
*Piros unleashes more arcs of energy from his scythe, which tear through Miharu’s PC body*
Miharu: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Usa-chan: *covers eyes* I can’t watch!
Neon: This isn’t making sense! No matter how many attacks Miharu deals out, Piros doesn’t take any damage!! And at the same time, Piros seems like he’s getting even stronger!!!
Coolidge: MIHARU!!!!!
Orion: …
Izumi: Orion?
Orion: …I knew it!! Piros’ scythe!! It’s a .hack//Arm!!
Hayate: What?!?
Orion: I had this weird feeling ever since Piros first drew that scythe. It looks my suspicions were correct.
Coolidge: But… If Piros is wielding a .hack//Arm, then Miharu doesn’t stand a chance!
Orion: The fact that Piros is wielding that weapon doesn’t concern me. It’s the fact that he was able to tap into the weapon’s inner power.
Neon: What do you mean?
Orion: When wielded normally, the .hack//Arms are nothing more than ordinary weapons. But with a general knowledge and understanding of the .hack//Arms, one can tap into their power and harness its unimaginable strength. It’s how Kurogane was able to eradicate 5,000 PC’s in 17 minutes 3 years ago.
Coolidge: ARRRGGGHHH!!!! This sucks! Miharu’s about to lose the match, and there’s no way we can help her!
Hayate: …Maybe there is a way…!
Izumi: Huh? What do you mean, Hayate?
Hayate: I’ll be right back! *gates out*
Coolidge: BRING BACK NACHOS!!!!!
All: COOLIDGE!!!
Coolidge: What?!?
*in the Arena, Miharu struggles to stand up; Piros walks up and raises his scythe*
Piros VIII: Submit!!! Concede to defeat!!!
Miharu: H-Hell no!!! I’m…not giving up!!!
Piros VIII: Hmph!! So be it!! HYAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Miharu: *closes eyes*
Piros VIII: GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Miharu: Huh?
*Miharu looks ahead to see Piros on the ground with a large burn mark on his chest armor*
Miharu: W-What just…?
: MIHARU!!!*looking up and behind her, Miharu sees Hayate standing on a suspended platform*
Miharu: H-Hayate!
Hayate: …
Miharu: … *smirk* “You sure you can take ‘em on all by yourself, Hayate-kun?”
Hayate: “You insult me, Miharu-chan! The strength of the one always outweighs the strength of the all! Haishou?”
Crowd: *cheers loudly*
Neon: …What the hell are they saying!?
Orion: It’s a rather famous scene from “Karibu no Kaizoku” – the scene in which Hayate Jin saves Yuuki Miharu from a band of cannibalistic pirates.
Hayate: *takes out Magic Tsukasa grimoire* I thought you might need this! Catch!
*Hayate tosses the grimoire down at Miharu, who catches in her hands*
Hayate: *motions a thumbs-up* Now kick his ass!
Miharu: *motions a thumbs-up* You got it!
Piros VIII: *stands up* Ohhhh… Anyone get the number of that license plate?
Miharu: Hey, you!
Piros VIII: Hmm?
*Miharu slams the base of her staff into the ground*
Miharu: So, you like to play dirty, huh? Well, I can play dirty too!
*she then starts to absorb magic energy from the atmosphere into it*
Miharu: “Converge thee now, forces of light and darkness, and drip thy waterless blood into the cesspool of my soul…”
Neon: Oh! Here it comes!
Miharu: “To this wretched existence that yearns for death, I grant eternal silence…”
Usa-chan: Do it, Miharu!
Miharu: “The wise eagle flies straight into the sun, the flapping of its wings resounding in the stillness of night…”
Orion: …
Miharu: “…Let me be crucified in the blue sky; I shall stand where heaven meets the earth!” RAGNAROK!!!!!
*after drawing in enough magic power, Miharu’s staff unleashes a gigantic blast of light at Piros*
Piros VIII: HOLY CRAP!!!
*the blast of light completely engulfs Piros’ PC body; when the light fades, Piros is seen on the ground, his PC body scorched*
Piros VIII: …That was…even hotter…than the Pit of Despair…
Crowd: *cheers loudly*
Announcer: And it’s over, ladies and gentlemen! What seemed like utter defeat for Miharu is turned around completely as she pulls off one of the most spectacular comebacks in Arena history! This draws today’s exhibition match to a--
: NOT SO FAST!!!Announcer: Uh… What?
*on the other side of the Arena, standing on a suspended platform across from Hayate, Kyuzo can be seen*
Announcer: What’s this? It seems that Kyuzo, the guildmaster of Samurai 7, has something to say!
Kyuzo: You’re damn right I have something to say! This victory’s a sham!
Crowd: *murmuring*
Coolidge: Good Lord, what’s he doing now!?
Orion: …
Kyuzo: Hayate!!!
Hayate: *gulp*
Kyuzo: Before you so callously interrupted this exhibition match by handing off a weapon to Miharu, did you even once think about the rules and regulations of the Arena?
Hayate: Uh… Rules and regulations?
Kyuzo: Allow me to educate you! Rule number one of exhibition matches – All matches are set up to be one-on-one!
Hayate: What’s your point!? Miharu still fought by herself!
Kyuzo: Rule number two – No outside assistance or interference!
Hayate: *gasp*
Kyuzo: Ah! So, you understand now? Because Miharu received help from you, that counts as an instant forfeit!!!
Hayate: WHAT?!?
Announcer: *reading rules book* Hmm… *closes rules book* I’m afraid he’s right. I have no choice but to disregard Miharu’s current victory and write it off as an immediate disqualification!
Miharu: WHAT?!?
Kyuzo: But wait! There’s more! If Miharu were an ordinary player, I’d overlook it, but because she’s the Empress of the Sage Palace, that brings me to rule number three – If either or both rules one or two is broken by a Palace Emperor or Empress, that player must relinquish their title – effective immediately!!!
Miharu: *gasp*
Crowd: *booing and jeering Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: Hey, don’t look at me! I don’t make the rules – I just enforce them!
Announcer: Empress Miharu, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid the rules are clear on this matter. As of this moment, you are hereby stripped of your title as Palace Empress!
Miharu: *falls to knees* No…
Hayate: …What have I done…?
Kyuzo: … *evil smirk*
*in the audience, Haseo of the Black Flame looks on at Kyuzo*
Haseo: …There’s something about that Kyuzo that aggravates me so much… He’s just like…Sakaki…!!!
*moments later, in Lumina Cloth…*
Orion: …
Izumi: …
Neon: …
Chibi-Usa: …
Coolidge: …
Miharu: …My title…
Hayate: Miharu… I’m so sorry… If I knew this would happen--
Miharu: Hayate.
Hayate: *gulp*
*Miharu wipes away her tears and turns to face Hayate with a smile*
Miharu: I thought about your offer, and…I decided that I’d like to join Glaive LeGable.
Izumi: *gasp* Miharu!
Miharu: I know that you’re fighting Samurai 7. Well, I want to fight them with you. After the way Kyuzo made me look helpless in the Arena, I want to get back at him for it. No one makes the Sage Palace Em-- uh, former Sage Palace Empress, look bad!
Usa-chan: Hehehe! I like her already!
Miharu: Uh… Orion, was it?
Orion: Yes. We’d be more than happy to have you.
Miharu: Thanks. *walks up to Hayate*
Hayate: Hmm?
Miharu: Um… Oh, man, how’d that line go again? …Oh, yeah! “You know, as famous as you are, you have a pretty lousy crew!”
Hayate: “Well, with you in it, it’ll be even lousier!”
Both: Hahahaha!
Coolidge: …I don’t know whether to find this cute or sickening…
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
Tsukiyomi: There’s a big Tag Team Tournament happening in the Arena today, and guess what the grand prize is!! The Blade Balmung!!!
~*~*~*~
Kyuzo: Okay! Here’s how it’s gonna go down! We’ll enter in two teams of three. Team 1 will consist of Haruhi, Jack Russell, and me. Team 2 will be Sammy, Claire, and Piros.
Piros VIII: Alright!!! Time to battle!!! TALLYHO!!!!!
Claire: …Can I switch with Jack?
~*~*~*~
Hayate: So… Who’s our third guy?
Tsukiyomi: He’ll be here soon. …Oh! There he is now!
Kaga: Hey, Tsukiyomi. Sorry I’m late. …Oh, Hayate! We meet again!
~*~*~*~
Announcer: Without further ado, I hereby declare the Azure Campaign…OPEN!!!
21st Phase: An Ominous Overture, Part 1!
