Post by Hayate on Aug 25, 2007 17:50:15 GMT -5
~ Eternal City of Mac Anu; May 2, 2037 ~
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Piros VIII: What’s taking Samekh so long!? We’ve been waiting for hours!
Claire: Yeah, ironic isn’t it…? …Since you’ve been saying that for hours too!!!
Piros VIII: *jumps up* Well, I’m one of those people who hate to be kept waiting!!!
Jack: *places hand on lever* …Would you rather wait in the pit?
Piros VIII: … *sits down* …I’ll be good.
Jack: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Kyuzo: *tapping feet impatiently* …
Haruhi: …Master Kyuzo? You seem troubled…
Kyuzo: …Yeah, I am a little… I’m troubled by the fact that I agree with Piros…
All: *gasp*
Claire: You’re kidding, right?!?
Kyuzo: I wish I were… WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SAMMY SO-- Huh?
*just then, Samekh walks in*
Kyuzo: Well, it’s about damn time! What took you so long!?
Samekh: I apologize. But I’ve brought you something that might interest you…
*Samekh takes out a pair of dual swords and presents them to Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: …Dual swords?
Samekh: That’s correct.
Kyuzo: …Dual swords?!? I send you out to bring Tsukiyomi here, and you bring me back a couple of useless DUAL SWORDS?!?
Jack: *sigh* Well, so much for getting my hopes up… Okay! Mission unaccomplished! Now who’s up for pizza!?
Haruhi: Maybe he has a reason for bringing us the dual swords, Master Kyuzo.
Kyuzo: *sigh* …Okay, fine. Explain yourself, Samekh. Why did you bring me weapons instead of Tsukiyomi? HUMOR ME!!!
Samekh: Settle yourself, Mr. Kyuzo. You know that displeasing you is the last thing I’d want to do. Now think to yourself for a second… Why would I bring you a pair of ordinary dual swords? Unless they weren’t ordinary, right? Therefore, that would make them…
Kyuzo: … *gasp* A .hack//Arm!!!
Samekh: *smirk* Bingo.
Kyuzo: *stands up and approaches Samekh* Okay, buddy, who the hell are you?!? How do you know about the .hack//Arms?!?
Samekh: Let’s just say that I know more about them than you could ever hope to comprehend.
Kyuzo: Was that a wisecrack?!? Y’know, buddy, it takes a lot to piss me off and you’re getting damn near close!!!
Jack: Kyuzo pissed-off… Yup, it’s not a pretty sight.
Samekh: I have a proposition for you, Mr. Kyuzo. I’m going to offer you my services in searching for the .hack//Arms. In return, all I ask is that you let me study them.
Kyuzo: Study? What are you, some kind of scientist?
Samekh: …You could say that.
Kyuzo: …Alright, fine. But during your studies, I want you to report to me anything about the .hack//Arms you discover. Deal?
Samekh: Very well.
Kyuzo: Alright then! Welcome to the Samurai 7, my friend!
*…Mac Anu, Mercenary District…*
Kaga: …Okay, here’s the plan. Samurai 7 currently has 6 members – Kyuzo, Haruhi, Claire, Piros VIII, Jack Russell, and Samekh. Besides from Kyuzo, we need to keep the rest of the members distracted. You’re each gonna challenge a Samurai 7 member to a battle through e-mail. You don’t have to win; you just have to stall for time. Also, you’re all going to issue challenges in different time intervals to prevent suspicion. Let’s see… It’s 3:50pm right now. Hayate, you’re gonna challenge Jack Russell at 4:00.
Hayate: Right!
Kaga: Izumi, you challenge Piros VIII at 4:20pm.
Izumi: Got it!
Kaga: Tsukiyomi, you’re gonna challenge Claire at 4:35pm.
Tsukiyomi: Roger that!
Kaga: Hanabi, you take on Haruhi at 4:45pm.
Hanabi: Gotcha, boss!
Kaga: And finally, Ren. You’re gonna take on Samekh at 5:00pm.
Ren: I’ll do my best!
Hanabi: Uh… Maybe I should take on Samekh instead. From what I hear from Hayate and Izumi, he’s pretty powerful. He might be too powerful for Ren to fight.
Kaga: Hanabi, I told you already – you don’t need to win; you just need to stall.
Hanabi: Yeah, but still…
Ren: Don’t worry, Auntie Rei. I can take care of myself.
Hanabi: But Ren…
Hayate: WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!!! BACK UP!!! …Did you she just call you “auntie”?!?
Hanabi: Yeah. Ren’s my niece. Why?
Hayate: …Wow. Who knew? (Wait until Coolidge hears this!)
Kaga: Could we try to stay focused here!?
Hayate: *gulp* Sorry. Go ahead.
Kaga: *sigh* Okay. With all of the members of the Samurai 7 distracted, only Kyuzo will be left in the @home. That’s when I used the Guest Key he gave me to enter the @home and “join” the guild. Once I’m inside, I’ll look for Tsukiyomi’s dual swords and retrieve them. You all should try to stall your respective challengers until at least 6:00pm. Once I’m out, I’ll e-mail all of you and mission accomplished!
Hanabi: I like this plan! It’s so underhanded!
Izumi: Um… Mr. Kaga?
Kaga: Yes?
Izumi: If you don’t mind my asking… Just why are you helping us?
Kaga: Well, let’s just say…I wanna get back at Kyuzo for something.
Tsukiyomi: Payback, huh? I like this guy’s style!
Kaga: Okay! It’s five minutes to 6:00! Is everyone clear on their orders?
All: Yes, sir!
Kaga: Alright… Move out!
*meanwhile, at Glaive LeGable @home…*
Coolidge: *loud yawn* …Man, I’m bored…
Neon: …
Usa-chan: Neo-niichan? What’s wrong?
Neon: …Hayate and Izumi have gone for a long time now… I’m worried. *stands up* Coolidge! Get up!
Coolidge: Huh…? What…?
Neon: Let’s go! We’re going to look for Hayate and Izumi!
Coolidge: *yawn* Alright, fine, I’m coming…
*Coolidge and Neon leave the @home; Chibi-Usa is about to leave when something pulls at her pant leg*
Usa-chan: Hmm?
*she looks down and sees Glaive LeGable’s mascot, Dawn Grunty (who resembles Orion)*
Dawn Grunty: Usa-neechan… Are you leaving?
Usa-chan: Aww… *picks up Dawn Grunty* Don’t worry, Dawn-chan. I’ll be back to play with you real soon, okay?
Dawn Grunty: Okay!
Usa-chan: You be good now, okay?
Dawn Grunty: I will!
Usa-chan: Good boy!
Neon: USA-CHAN!!! HURRY UP!!!
Usa-chan: Coming! …I gotta go. *puts Dawn Grunty down* I’ll be back soon! *runs out*
*…Samurai 7 @home, .hack//Arm Storage Chamber…*
*in the storage chamber, each of the .hack//Arm lay in a cryogenic-like capsule*
Samekh: Hmm…
Kyuzo: *walks in* Well? You find anything out yet?
Samekh: Not much. But I have discovered that there is some connection between the .hack//Arms and the Lost Ground Aura Spheres…
Kyuzo: You mean those bright floating things?
Samekh: Correct. Take a look.
*Samekh takes out an Aura Sphere and moves it next to the capsule holding Kite’s Dual Swords; the Aura Sphere and the Dual Swords both begin to glow brightly*
Kyuzo: Ooh…
Samekh: The Aura Spheres seem drawn to the .hack//Arms somehow. But I have yet to determine why.
Kyuzo: Hmm…
*in the main room…*
Jack: *loud yawn* …Man, I’m bored… *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? An e-mail? … *gasp* *smirk* Looks like my boredom’s just ended! Be right back, guys! Tell Kyuzo I had to go take care of something! *leaves*
*meanwhile, at the Chaos Gate…*
Hayate: …There. I sent the e-mail.
Kaga: Good. Now go wait in your respective area.
Hayate: Right. *gates out*
Kaga: Izumi, in twenty minutes, you send your e-mail, alright?
Izumi: Mm-hmm.
*just then, Neon, Coolidge, and Chibi-Usa enter the dome and encounter the group*
Neon: Oh! There you are!
Izumi: Neon! Coolidge! Usa-chan! What’re you doing here?
Usa-chan: You were gone for such a long time, so we came looking for you.
Coolidge: *gasp* REN-CHAN!!!
Ren: Oh… H-Hi, Coolidge…
Coolidge: Did you miss me!? You did, didn’t you!? I knew it, you missed me!!!
Neon: *looks around* …Where’s Hayate, Izumi?
Izumi: Uh… Well… You see--
: Step aside, losers!
*Jack Russell shoves his way through the crowd and warps to an area via Chaos Gate*
Usa-chan: Hmph! What a jerk!
Izumi: Um… Guys? I’m sorry about this, but could I ask you to go wait back at the @home?
Neon: What? How come?
Izumi: Sorry, but I can’t tell you. I promise I’ll tell you all about it later, okay?
Usa-chan: Okay…
Neon: …Izumi, if you’re having trouble with something, let us help.
Izumi: I’m not, really.
Neon: Hmm…
Hanabi: What are you, deaf!? The girl said to get lost!!!
Neon: Hey, watch yourself, you brat!
Ren: Auntie Rei, don’t be rude…!
Coolidge: Yeah, Auntie Rei, don’t be-- …“AUNTIE”?!?!?
Ren: *sigh*
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Hayate: …
*moments later, Jack Russell gates in*
Jack: I gotta say, you surprise me, kid. You didn’t seem like the kind to issue challenges. And look! You even chose the Lost Ground where we fought for the first time. I’m flattered.
Hayate: … *draws Flamberge and Vorpal Blade blade-swords*
Jack: Ooh… Shorty’s learned a new trick… Well, so have I! *draws lance* Let’s go, little man!
Hayate: *looks down at Vorpal Blade* (…Saku-neechan… Lend me your strength…)
*…Mac Anu Dome…*
Usa-chan: Bye! We’ll see you back at the @home!
Izumi: *waves* Okay, see ya! …Aah! Coolidge, why are you still here!?
Coolidge: I wanted to spend more time with Ren!
Izumi: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY?!?
Coolidge: Eeeep! *runs away*
Izumi: *sigh* Sorry about that, Ren.
Ren: It’s okay.
Kaga: …It’s almost 20 minutes past 4. You ready, Izumi?
Izumi: Yes.
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Samekh: I need to step out for a bit. Be back soon.
Piros VIII: *waves* Take your time, my friend!
Samekh: …Right… *leaves*
Piros VIII: Hehehe… *groans* I don’t trust that guy.
Shady Grunty: You just called him “friend”, you nut!
Piros VIII: Yeah, but he’s too…shifty.
Claire: And you’re too stupid. But you’re still a member of this guild.
Piros VIII: I’m serious! I think that Samekh is hiding something!
Claire: Do I have to pull this lever to make you shut up?!?
Piros VIII: *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? …Hark! I have been issued a challenge on the field of battle! PIROS VIII, AWAY!!! *runs out of the @home*
Claire: *sigh* What an idiot…
*…40 minutes later…*
Kaga: Okay, Ren, that just leaves you. Are you sure you’re ready for this?
Ren: Yes!
Kaga: Okay, then. Make the call.
Ren: Right!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Samekh: Hmm… *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? An e-mail? …Hey. I have to go take care of something. Could you finish up here?
: Sure.
*as Samekh leaves the @home, he walks past Kaga, who walks towards the @home nonchalantly*
Kyuzo: *strumming guitar* …Hmm? *sees Kaga walk in* …Kaga! What’re you doing here?
Kaga: I’ve done some thinking for a few weeks and…I decided to join Samurai 7! You know, if the offer’s still open.
Kyuzo: Yeah, it is, but… Well, it’d be better if my members were here… Speaking of which, where the hell are they?!?
Kaga: (Good… He doesn’t suspect a thing…)
Kyuzo: …Ah, screw it! I practically know everything about you anyway, so…welcome to the club!
Kaga: (Wow… That was easier than I expected…)
Kyuzo: …Damn, is it 5 o’clock already!? Listen, Kaga, I’ve gotta go meet with someone! If any of the others get back, tell ‘em I’ll be back soon, okay? *leaves*
Kaga: Sure thing! (…Good, the plan’s working great so far. Now to find Tsukiyomi’s dual swords…)
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Jack: Bonecrusher!!!
*Jack spins his broadsword at Hayate, who dodges the attack and counters with a double Lateral Moon, sending Jack flying back*
Jack: D-Dammit! How the hell did you get so strong!?
Hayate: …
Jack: Hmph! Got nothin’ to say, huh? That’s fine by me! *switches to scythe* Hyah!!
*D Hidden Forbidden Labyrinth ~ Cursed Maze of Xerxes Vale*
*Izumi and Piros VIII clash scythe-with-scythe*
Izumi: Grrrr…
Piros VIII: Hehehe… I must admit you fight exceptionally well… However! *pushes Izumi away* I shall still win!
Izumi: We’ll see!
*the energy scythe in Izumi’s hands shatters into pieces; the fragments then converge to form a bayonet*
Izumi: Plectra Bullet!!!
*Izumi fires shot after shot at Piros while he dodges them all by running*
Piros VIII: Ha-ha! You cannot hope to defeat the gleaming knight that is I!
Izumi: You talk way too much! Thorn Shot!!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Haunting ~ Saumbers Cloude Kingdom*
Claire: King Hammer!!!
*from midair, Claire plummets down at Tsukiyomi fist-first; Tsukiyomi dodges Claire’s attack and Claire slams her fist into the ground, creating a small crater*
Tsukiyomi: (Whoa! That was way too close!) Gotcha!
*Tsukiyomi swings her dual swords at Claire, who narrowly avoids each swing*
Claire: Too slow, girl! Tiger Strike!!!
*Claire unleashes a series of super-fast punches and kicks on Tsukiyomi’s PC body, sending her flying a short distance back; Tsukiyomi recovers and lands on her feet*
Tsukiyomi: (Man… She’s stronger than I remember…) It’s not over yet!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Miasma ~ Vorpis Alph Sea*
Ren: …
*moments later, Samekh gates in*
Ren: *gasp*
Samekh: …Did you send me that e-mail?
Ren: …Yes. *draws Macabre fans*
Samekh: …Heh.
*Samekh’s cello carrying case transforms into his cello*
Ren: … *gulp*
*S Hidden Forbidden Delusions ~ Enchanted City Naval Monte*
Hanabi: …
*wind blows*
Hanabi: …DAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL IS THAT HARUHI GIRL?!? I’ve been waiting over 10 minutes!!!!!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
*Kaga searches the @home and wanders into the .hack//Arm storage chamber*
Kaga: Ah! Here it is! *looks around* Let’s see… Kite’s Dual Swords… Elk’s Staff… Sanjuro’s Katana… Ah, here they are! The “Spin Natsume”! …Hmm? *gasp* W-What the hell’s going on?!?
*Kaga notices Aura Spheres in the air slowly losing their color*
Kaga: The Aura Spheres… They’re dying… I’d better get the dual swords and get the hell outta here.
*Kaga presses several buttons on a console, opening the capsule that held the Spin Natsume dual swords; he’s about to pick them, when all of a sudden, he feels the sharp edge of an arrow touch the back of his neck*
Kaga: *gasp*
Haruhi: …Identify yourself.
Kaga: …I thought this @home was completely empty. How’d you know the e-mail was a fake?
Haruhi: I didn’t. I brought the e-mail to Master Kyuzo’s attention and requested permission to accept the challenge. He denied me permission and instead requested that I assist Sir Samekh with his research.
Kaga: Heh… Certainly didn’t see that coming…
*just then, Kaga leaps into the air and tosses a Shinobi Striker energy dagger at Haruhi, who swats it away and fires several arrows at Kaga; as soon as Kaga lands on the ground, he ducks behind the Sanjuro’s Katana capsule and readies more energy daggers in his hands*
Kaga: So, I’m guessing your Kyuzo’s right-hand girl or something?
Haruhi: I will not let you steal the .hack//Arms!
Kaga: .hack//Arms? …So, these weapons aren’t just ordinary weapons…
*Kaga jumps out and tosses the daggers at Haruhi; she swats them away and fires more arrows at Kaga; Kaga dashes around and ducks behind the Kite’s Dual Swords capsule*
Kaga: Tell me what’s happening to the Aura Spheres! Why are they dying?
Haruhi: The Aura Spheres are drawn to the .hack//Arms. But in order to maintain their strength and avoid corrosion, the .hack//Arms must absorb the Aura Spheres’ life force from time to time.
Kaga: (…Just what are these “.hack//Arms”…?)
*Kaga jumps out and flings Croupier cards at Haruhi; she moves out of the cards’ way and fires an arrow at Kaga, piercing his shoulder*
Kaga: G-Gah!!
*Kaga quickly ducks behind the Elk’s Staff capsule*
Kaga: *pulls arrow out of his shoulder* (D-Damn… Girl’s got quick reflexes…)
Haruhi: Why do you wish to steal from Master Kyuzo?
Kaga: *forms energy shield* Because he…ripped me off, t-that’s…why!
Haruhi: Hmm?
Kyuzo: Oh, Kaga. There you are. You got the stuff?
Kaga: Yeah, I got it. You got the money?
Kyuzo: Naturally.
*Kyuzo gives Kaga 50,000 GP; Kaga gives Kyuzo a set of weapons and armors; later that day…*
Kaga: Let’s see now… I started out with 3,082,590 GP… Now I have 3,122,590… Wait a minute! There’s only 40,000 GP here! Dammit, how could I have missed that?!?
Kaga: …I’m sure…Kyuzo won’t mind if I…take the last 10,000 he owes me…out of those dual swords…!
Haruhi: I already told you I won’t let you steal the .hack//Arms!
Kaga: I dunno…what these .hack//whatever’s are…but all I want…are the Spin Natsume! (Alright… It’s now or never!)
*Kaga jumps out again and leaps towards Haruhi with the energy shield; Haruhi fires an arrow that strikes the shield; the shield shatters and reforms into dual pistols; Kaga barrages Haruhi’s PC body with bullets, lowering her HP to near-zero*
Haruhi: *falls to knees* D-Dammit…!
*Kaga lands near Haruhi and picks up the Spin Natsume dual swords*
Kaga: *sigh* Pleasure doing business with you! *walks away*
Haruhi: *grabs Kaga’s leg* W-Wait! Please! I can’t let Master Kyuzo down again!
Kaga: …Sorry, little lady, but the most important rule of commerce is: Never rip off the supplier! *leaves*
Haruhi: …M-Master…Kyuzo…
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Jack: *panting*
Hayate: *panting* *BEEP, BEEP!* Huh? …Hmm!
Jack: Huh!? What are you smirking about, brat!?
Hayate: Oh, nothing! Well, this has been fun, but I gotta go now!
Jack: Go!? But we ain’t finished yet!
Hayate: I know! Sure feels cruddy to be left out to dry, doesn’t it!?*uses Smoke Screen* Later!
Jack: Grrrr…
*D Hidden Forbidden Labyrinth ~ Cursed Maze of Xerxes Vale*
*Izumi stands on top of Piros’ PC body*
Izumi: Do you give up yet?
Piros VIII: *dizzily* Never! Just you wait! I’m about to make the comeback of the century!
Izumi: *sigh* *BEEP, BEEP!* …Well, good luck with that. I’ve gotta get going.
Piros VIII: No! This fight isn’t over until I’ve won!
Izumi: *stomps on Piros’ back* You wish! *walks away*
Piros VIII: …A most…humiliating…defeat…
*S Hidden Forbidden Haunting ~ Saumbers Cloude Kingdom*
Tsukiyomi: *BEEP, BEEP!* (Oh! Looks like it’s time already! …But how am I supposed to give “Miss Second-Most-Wanted” the slip? Hmm…)
Claire: Pay attention, girl! Tiger Strike!!!
*Claire charges at Tsukiyomi*
Tsukiyomi: (I know!) Lei Zas!
*Tsukiyomi fires a white beam at Claire’s feet while she runs, causing her to stumble onto the ground*
Claire: …Ow…
Tsukiyomi: Sorry, but I can’t stay! Gotta run! *dashes towards the Chaos Gate*
Claire: H-Hey!! You can’t just leave in the middle of a fight!! …Dammit all!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Miasma ~ Vorpis Alph Sea*
Ren: *panting*
Samekh: …Are you quite finished yet? You know you cannot defeat me.
Ren: *panting* *BEEP, BEEP!* …Hehehe… Maybe…I don’t have to…win… Maybe I just…need to stall…
Samekh: …I should’ve known. Your fighting patterns… Your tendency to evade my attacks… It was all a ruse.
Ren: Yup! And you fell for it!
Samekh: Don’t insult me. I knew about your plan right from the start. I just felt the need to test your fighting ability. And I must say I’m disappointed.
Ren: Disappointed!? Why you--!
Samekh: We’re done here. *plays harsh musical note, blowing Ren away and lowering her HP to zero* …Pathetic… *leaves*
Ren: …Damn… I really thought…I could win… A-Auntie Rei…
*S Hidden Forbidden Delusions ~ Enchanted City Naval Monte*
Hanabi: *loud yawn* Man, I’m bored… *BEEP, BEEP!* Aw!!! Is it time already?!? I didn’t ever get to fight!!! *stomps towards the Chaos Gate*
*…Mac Anu Dome…*
Kaga: Good work, everyone. Despite a few snags in the line, the plan was a success. *takes out Spin Natsume dual swords*
Tsukiyomi: My dual swords!!! Thanks so much, Kaga!!!
Kaga: *bows* It was my pleasure. Now then…if you’ll excuse me… *gates out*
Tsukiyomi: *sigh* What a guy… All that work just to get my blades back…
Hanabi: *singing* Yomi’s got a crush! Yomi’s got a crush!
Tsukiyomi: *blush* S-Shut up, Hanabi!
All: *laugh*
Tsukiyomi: *deeper blush* S-Stop laughing at me!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Haruhi: *holding letter* …Forgive me, Master Kyuzo… I’ve been nothing but a nuisance to you since the very beginning… *puts letter and Guest Key down* …Goodbye, Master Kyuzo… *walks out*
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
Ciel: Wow… It’s just like Dad said… Too cool!
~*~*~*~
Ciel: Hey, are you okay?
Haruhi: W-Who…are you?
~*~*~*~
IYOTEN: Well, well, well… Looks like we got ourselves a couple o’ caged rats!
~*~*~*~
Haruhi: …Why are you helping me?
Ciel: To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. Hehehe.
~*~*~*~
Haruhi: …Master Kyuzo…
17th Phase: With Willpower & Wisdom!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Piros VIII: What’s taking Samekh so long!? We’ve been waiting for hours!
Claire: Yeah, ironic isn’t it…? …Since you’ve been saying that for hours too!!!
Piros VIII: *jumps up* Well, I’m one of those people who hate to be kept waiting!!!
Jack: *places hand on lever* …Would you rather wait in the pit?
Piros VIII: … *sits down* …I’ll be good.
Jack: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
Kyuzo: *tapping feet impatiently* …
Haruhi: …Master Kyuzo? You seem troubled…
Kyuzo: …Yeah, I am a little… I’m troubled by the fact that I agree with Piros…
All: *gasp*
Claire: You’re kidding, right?!?
Kyuzo: I wish I were… WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SAMMY SO-- Huh?
*just then, Samekh walks in*
Kyuzo: Well, it’s about damn time! What took you so long!?
Samekh: I apologize. But I’ve brought you something that might interest you…
*Samekh takes out a pair of dual swords and presents them to Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: …Dual swords?
Samekh: That’s correct.
Kyuzo: …Dual swords?!? I send you out to bring Tsukiyomi here, and you bring me back a couple of useless DUAL SWORDS?!?
Jack: *sigh* Well, so much for getting my hopes up… Okay! Mission unaccomplished! Now who’s up for pizza!?
Haruhi: Maybe he has a reason for bringing us the dual swords, Master Kyuzo.
Kyuzo: *sigh* …Okay, fine. Explain yourself, Samekh. Why did you bring me weapons instead of Tsukiyomi? HUMOR ME!!!
Samekh: Settle yourself, Mr. Kyuzo. You know that displeasing you is the last thing I’d want to do. Now think to yourself for a second… Why would I bring you a pair of ordinary dual swords? Unless they weren’t ordinary, right? Therefore, that would make them…
Kyuzo: … *gasp* A .hack//Arm!!!
Samekh: *smirk* Bingo.
Kyuzo: *stands up and approaches Samekh* Okay, buddy, who the hell are you?!? How do you know about the .hack//Arms?!?
Samekh: Let’s just say that I know more about them than you could ever hope to comprehend.
Kyuzo: Was that a wisecrack?!? Y’know, buddy, it takes a lot to piss me off and you’re getting damn near close!!!
Jack: Kyuzo pissed-off… Yup, it’s not a pretty sight.
Samekh: I have a proposition for you, Mr. Kyuzo. I’m going to offer you my services in searching for the .hack//Arms. In return, all I ask is that you let me study them.
Kyuzo: Study? What are you, some kind of scientist?
Samekh: …You could say that.
Kyuzo: …Alright, fine. But during your studies, I want you to report to me anything about the .hack//Arms you discover. Deal?
Samekh: Very well.
Kyuzo: Alright then! Welcome to the Samurai 7, my friend!
*…Mac Anu, Mercenary District…*
Kaga: …Okay, here’s the plan. Samurai 7 currently has 6 members – Kyuzo, Haruhi, Claire, Piros VIII, Jack Russell, and Samekh. Besides from Kyuzo, we need to keep the rest of the members distracted. You’re each gonna challenge a Samurai 7 member to a battle through e-mail. You don’t have to win; you just have to stall for time. Also, you’re all going to issue challenges in different time intervals to prevent suspicion. Let’s see… It’s 3:50pm right now. Hayate, you’re gonna challenge Jack Russell at 4:00.
Hayate: Right!
Kaga: Izumi, you challenge Piros VIII at 4:20pm.
Izumi: Got it!
Kaga: Tsukiyomi, you’re gonna challenge Claire at 4:35pm.
Tsukiyomi: Roger that!
Kaga: Hanabi, you take on Haruhi at 4:45pm.
Hanabi: Gotcha, boss!
Kaga: And finally, Ren. You’re gonna take on Samekh at 5:00pm.
Ren: I’ll do my best!
Hanabi: Uh… Maybe I should take on Samekh instead. From what I hear from Hayate and Izumi, he’s pretty powerful. He might be too powerful for Ren to fight.
Kaga: Hanabi, I told you already – you don’t need to win; you just need to stall.
Hanabi: Yeah, but still…
Ren: Don’t worry, Auntie Rei. I can take care of myself.
Hanabi: But Ren…
Hayate: WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!!! BACK UP!!! …Did you she just call you “auntie”?!?
Hanabi: Yeah. Ren’s my niece. Why?
Hayate: …Wow. Who knew? (Wait until Coolidge hears this!)
Kaga: Could we try to stay focused here!?
Hayate: *gulp* Sorry. Go ahead.
Kaga: *sigh* Okay. With all of the members of the Samurai 7 distracted, only Kyuzo will be left in the @home. That’s when I used the Guest Key he gave me to enter the @home and “join” the guild. Once I’m inside, I’ll look for Tsukiyomi’s dual swords and retrieve them. You all should try to stall your respective challengers until at least 6:00pm. Once I’m out, I’ll e-mail all of you and mission accomplished!
Hanabi: I like this plan! It’s so underhanded!
Izumi: Um… Mr. Kaga?
Kaga: Yes?
Izumi: If you don’t mind my asking… Just why are you helping us?
Kaga: Well, let’s just say…I wanna get back at Kyuzo for something.
Tsukiyomi: Payback, huh? I like this guy’s style!
Kaga: Okay! It’s five minutes to 6:00! Is everyone clear on their orders?
All: Yes, sir!
Kaga: Alright… Move out!
*meanwhile, at Glaive LeGable @home…*
Coolidge: *loud yawn* …Man, I’m bored…
Neon: …
Usa-chan: Neo-niichan? What’s wrong?
Neon: …Hayate and Izumi have gone for a long time now… I’m worried. *stands up* Coolidge! Get up!
Coolidge: Huh…? What…?
Neon: Let’s go! We’re going to look for Hayate and Izumi!
Coolidge: *yawn* Alright, fine, I’m coming…
*Coolidge and Neon leave the @home; Chibi-Usa is about to leave when something pulls at her pant leg*
Usa-chan: Hmm?
*she looks down and sees Glaive LeGable’s mascot, Dawn Grunty (who resembles Orion)*
Dawn Grunty: Usa-neechan… Are you leaving?
Usa-chan: Aww… *picks up Dawn Grunty* Don’t worry, Dawn-chan. I’ll be back to play with you real soon, okay?
Dawn Grunty: Okay!
Usa-chan: You be good now, okay?
Dawn Grunty: I will!
Usa-chan: Good boy!
Neon: USA-CHAN!!! HURRY UP!!!
Usa-chan: Coming! …I gotta go. *puts Dawn Grunty down* I’ll be back soon! *runs out*
*…Samurai 7 @home, .hack//Arm Storage Chamber…*
*in the storage chamber, each of the .hack//Arm lay in a cryogenic-like capsule*
Samekh: Hmm…
Kyuzo: *walks in* Well? You find anything out yet?
Samekh: Not much. But I have discovered that there is some connection between the .hack//Arms and the Lost Ground Aura Spheres…
Kyuzo: You mean those bright floating things?
Samekh: Correct. Take a look.
*Samekh takes out an Aura Sphere and moves it next to the capsule holding Kite’s Dual Swords; the Aura Sphere and the Dual Swords both begin to glow brightly*
Kyuzo: Ooh…
Samekh: The Aura Spheres seem drawn to the .hack//Arms somehow. But I have yet to determine why.
Kyuzo: Hmm…
*in the main room…*
Jack: *loud yawn* …Man, I’m bored… *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? An e-mail? … *gasp* *smirk* Looks like my boredom’s just ended! Be right back, guys! Tell Kyuzo I had to go take care of something! *leaves*
*meanwhile, at the Chaos Gate…*
Hayate: …There. I sent the e-mail.
Kaga: Good. Now go wait in your respective area.
Hayate: Right. *gates out*
Kaga: Izumi, in twenty minutes, you send your e-mail, alright?
Izumi: Mm-hmm.
*just then, Neon, Coolidge, and Chibi-Usa enter the dome and encounter the group*
Neon: Oh! There you are!
Izumi: Neon! Coolidge! Usa-chan! What’re you doing here?
Usa-chan: You were gone for such a long time, so we came looking for you.
Coolidge: *gasp* REN-CHAN!!!
Ren: Oh… H-Hi, Coolidge…
Coolidge: Did you miss me!? You did, didn’t you!? I knew it, you missed me!!!
Neon: *looks around* …Where’s Hayate, Izumi?
Izumi: Uh… Well… You see--
: Step aside, losers!*Jack Russell shoves his way through the crowd and warps to an area via Chaos Gate*
Usa-chan: Hmph! What a jerk!
Izumi: Um… Guys? I’m sorry about this, but could I ask you to go wait back at the @home?
Neon: What? How come?
Izumi: Sorry, but I can’t tell you. I promise I’ll tell you all about it later, okay?
Usa-chan: Okay…
Neon: …Izumi, if you’re having trouble with something, let us help.
Izumi: I’m not, really.
Neon: Hmm…
Hanabi: What are you, deaf!? The girl said to get lost!!!
Neon: Hey, watch yourself, you brat!
Ren: Auntie Rei, don’t be rude…!
Coolidge: Yeah, Auntie Rei, don’t be-- …“AUNTIE”?!?!?
Ren: *sigh*
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Hayate: …
*moments later, Jack Russell gates in*
Jack: I gotta say, you surprise me, kid. You didn’t seem like the kind to issue challenges. And look! You even chose the Lost Ground where we fought for the first time. I’m flattered.
Hayate: … *draws Flamberge and Vorpal Blade blade-swords*
Jack: Ooh… Shorty’s learned a new trick… Well, so have I! *draws lance* Let’s go, little man!
Hayate: *looks down at Vorpal Blade* (…Saku-neechan… Lend me your strength…)
*…Mac Anu Dome…*
Usa-chan: Bye! We’ll see you back at the @home!
Izumi: *waves* Okay, see ya! …Aah! Coolidge, why are you still here!?
Coolidge: I wanted to spend more time with Ren!
Izumi: WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE ALREADY?!?
Coolidge: Eeeep! *runs away*
Izumi: *sigh* Sorry about that, Ren.
Ren: It’s okay.
Kaga: …It’s almost 20 minutes past 4. You ready, Izumi?
Izumi: Yes.
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Samekh: I need to step out for a bit. Be back soon.
Piros VIII: *waves* Take your time, my friend!
Samekh: …Right… *leaves*
Piros VIII: Hehehe… *groans* I don’t trust that guy.
Shady Grunty: You just called him “friend”, you nut!
Piros VIII: Yeah, but he’s too…shifty.
Claire: And you’re too stupid. But you’re still a member of this guild.
Piros VIII: I’m serious! I think that Samekh is hiding something!
Claire: Do I have to pull this lever to make you shut up?!?
Piros VIII: *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? …Hark! I have been issued a challenge on the field of battle! PIROS VIII, AWAY!!! *runs out of the @home*
Claire: *sigh* What an idiot…
*…40 minutes later…*
Kaga: Okay, Ren, that just leaves you. Are you sure you’re ready for this?
Ren: Yes!
Kaga: Okay, then. Make the call.
Ren: Right!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Samekh: Hmm… *BEEP, BEEP!* Hmm? An e-mail? …Hey. I have to go take care of something. Could you finish up here?
: Sure.*as Samekh leaves the @home, he walks past Kaga, who walks towards the @home nonchalantly*
Kyuzo: *strumming guitar* …Hmm? *sees Kaga walk in* …Kaga! What’re you doing here?
Kaga: I’ve done some thinking for a few weeks and…I decided to join Samurai 7! You know, if the offer’s still open.
Kyuzo: Yeah, it is, but… Well, it’d be better if my members were here… Speaking of which, where the hell are they?!?
Kaga: (Good… He doesn’t suspect a thing…)
Kyuzo: …Ah, screw it! I practically know everything about you anyway, so…welcome to the club!
Kaga: (Wow… That was easier than I expected…)
Kyuzo: …Damn, is it 5 o’clock already!? Listen, Kaga, I’ve gotta go meet with someone! If any of the others get back, tell ‘em I’ll be back soon, okay? *leaves*
Kaga: Sure thing! (…Good, the plan’s working great so far. Now to find Tsukiyomi’s dual swords…)
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Jack: Bonecrusher!!!
*Jack spins his broadsword at Hayate, who dodges the attack and counters with a double Lateral Moon, sending Jack flying back*
Jack: D-Dammit! How the hell did you get so strong!?
Hayate: …
Jack: Hmph! Got nothin’ to say, huh? That’s fine by me! *switches to scythe* Hyah!!
*D Hidden Forbidden Labyrinth ~ Cursed Maze of Xerxes Vale*
*Izumi and Piros VIII clash scythe-with-scythe*
Izumi: Grrrr…
Piros VIII: Hehehe… I must admit you fight exceptionally well… However! *pushes Izumi away* I shall still win!
Izumi: We’ll see!
*the energy scythe in Izumi’s hands shatters into pieces; the fragments then converge to form a bayonet*
Izumi: Plectra Bullet!!!
*Izumi fires shot after shot at Piros while he dodges them all by running*
Piros VIII: Ha-ha! You cannot hope to defeat the gleaming knight that is I!
Izumi: You talk way too much! Thorn Shot!!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Haunting ~ Saumbers Cloude Kingdom*
Claire: King Hammer!!!
*from midair, Claire plummets down at Tsukiyomi fist-first; Tsukiyomi dodges Claire’s attack and Claire slams her fist into the ground, creating a small crater*
Tsukiyomi: (Whoa! That was way too close!) Gotcha!
*Tsukiyomi swings her dual swords at Claire, who narrowly avoids each swing*
Claire: Too slow, girl! Tiger Strike!!!
*Claire unleashes a series of super-fast punches and kicks on Tsukiyomi’s PC body, sending her flying a short distance back; Tsukiyomi recovers and lands on her feet*
Tsukiyomi: (Man… She’s stronger than I remember…) It’s not over yet!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Miasma ~ Vorpis Alph Sea*
Ren: …
*moments later, Samekh gates in*
Ren: *gasp*
Samekh: …Did you send me that e-mail?
Ren: …Yes. *draws Macabre fans*
Samekh: …Heh.
*Samekh’s cello carrying case transforms into his cello*
Ren: … *gulp*
*S Hidden Forbidden Delusions ~ Enchanted City Naval Monte*
Hanabi: …
*wind blows*
Hanabi: …DAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL IS THAT HARUHI GIRL?!? I’ve been waiting over 10 minutes!!!!!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
*Kaga searches the @home and wanders into the .hack//Arm storage chamber*
Kaga: Ah! Here it is! *looks around* Let’s see… Kite’s Dual Swords… Elk’s Staff… Sanjuro’s Katana… Ah, here they are! The “Spin Natsume”! …Hmm? *gasp* W-What the hell’s going on?!?
*Kaga notices Aura Spheres in the air slowly losing their color*
Kaga: The Aura Spheres… They’re dying… I’d better get the dual swords and get the hell outta here.
*Kaga presses several buttons on a console, opening the capsule that held the Spin Natsume dual swords; he’s about to pick them, when all of a sudden, he feels the sharp edge of an arrow touch the back of his neck*
Kaga: *gasp*
Haruhi: …Identify yourself.
Kaga: …I thought this @home was completely empty. How’d you know the e-mail was a fake?
Haruhi: I didn’t. I brought the e-mail to Master Kyuzo’s attention and requested permission to accept the challenge. He denied me permission and instead requested that I assist Sir Samekh with his research.
Kaga: Heh… Certainly didn’t see that coming…
*just then, Kaga leaps into the air and tosses a Shinobi Striker energy dagger at Haruhi, who swats it away and fires several arrows at Kaga; as soon as Kaga lands on the ground, he ducks behind the Sanjuro’s Katana capsule and readies more energy daggers in his hands*
Kaga: So, I’m guessing your Kyuzo’s right-hand girl or something?
Haruhi: I will not let you steal the .hack//Arms!
Kaga: .hack//Arms? …So, these weapons aren’t just ordinary weapons…
*Kaga jumps out and tosses the daggers at Haruhi; she swats them away and fires more arrows at Kaga; Kaga dashes around and ducks behind the Kite’s Dual Swords capsule*
Kaga: Tell me what’s happening to the Aura Spheres! Why are they dying?
Haruhi: The Aura Spheres are drawn to the .hack//Arms. But in order to maintain their strength and avoid corrosion, the .hack//Arms must absorb the Aura Spheres’ life force from time to time.
Kaga: (…Just what are these “.hack//Arms”…?)
*Kaga jumps out and flings Croupier cards at Haruhi; she moves out of the cards’ way and fires an arrow at Kaga, piercing his shoulder*
Kaga: G-Gah!!
*Kaga quickly ducks behind the Elk’s Staff capsule*
Kaga: *pulls arrow out of his shoulder* (D-Damn… Girl’s got quick reflexes…)
Haruhi: Why do you wish to steal from Master Kyuzo?
Kaga: *forms energy shield* Because he…ripped me off, t-that’s…why!
Haruhi: Hmm?
Kyuzo: Oh, Kaga. There you are. You got the stuff?
Kaga: Yeah, I got it. You got the money?
Kyuzo: Naturally.
*Kyuzo gives Kaga 50,000 GP; Kaga gives Kyuzo a set of weapons and armors; later that day…*
Kaga: Let’s see now… I started out with 3,082,590 GP… Now I have 3,122,590… Wait a minute! There’s only 40,000 GP here! Dammit, how could I have missed that?!?
Kaga: …I’m sure…Kyuzo won’t mind if I…take the last 10,000 he owes me…out of those dual swords…!
Haruhi: I already told you I won’t let you steal the .hack//Arms!
Kaga: I dunno…what these .hack//whatever’s are…but all I want…are the Spin Natsume! (Alright… It’s now or never!)
*Kaga jumps out again and leaps towards Haruhi with the energy shield; Haruhi fires an arrow that strikes the shield; the shield shatters and reforms into dual pistols; Kaga barrages Haruhi’s PC body with bullets, lowering her HP to near-zero*
Haruhi: *falls to knees* D-Dammit…!
*Kaga lands near Haruhi and picks up the Spin Natsume dual swords*
Kaga: *sigh* Pleasure doing business with you! *walks away*
Haruhi: *grabs Kaga’s leg* W-Wait! Please! I can’t let Master Kyuzo down again!
Kaga: …Sorry, little lady, but the most important rule of commerce is: Never rip off the supplier! *leaves*
Haruhi: …M-Master…Kyuzo…
*D Hidden Forbidden Sky Gate ~ Aerial Temple of Sepia Lin Rovis*
Jack: *panting*
Hayate: *panting* *BEEP, BEEP!* Huh? …Hmm!
Jack: Huh!? What are you smirking about, brat!?
Hayate: Oh, nothing! Well, this has been fun, but I gotta go now!
Jack: Go!? But we ain’t finished yet!
Hayate: I know! Sure feels cruddy to be left out to dry, doesn’t it!?*uses Smoke Screen* Later!
Jack: Grrrr…
*D Hidden Forbidden Labyrinth ~ Cursed Maze of Xerxes Vale*
*Izumi stands on top of Piros’ PC body*
Izumi: Do you give up yet?
Piros VIII: *dizzily* Never! Just you wait! I’m about to make the comeback of the century!
Izumi: *sigh* *BEEP, BEEP!* …Well, good luck with that. I’ve gotta get going.
Piros VIII: No! This fight isn’t over until I’ve won!
Izumi: *stomps on Piros’ back* You wish! *walks away*
Piros VIII: …A most…humiliating…defeat…
*S Hidden Forbidden Haunting ~ Saumbers Cloude Kingdom*
Tsukiyomi: *BEEP, BEEP!* (Oh! Looks like it’s time already! …But how am I supposed to give “Miss Second-Most-Wanted” the slip? Hmm…)
Claire: Pay attention, girl! Tiger Strike!!!
*Claire charges at Tsukiyomi*
Tsukiyomi: (I know!) Lei Zas!
*Tsukiyomi fires a white beam at Claire’s feet while she runs, causing her to stumble onto the ground*
Claire: …Ow…
Tsukiyomi: Sorry, but I can’t stay! Gotta run! *dashes towards the Chaos Gate*
Claire: H-Hey!! You can’t just leave in the middle of a fight!! …Dammit all!!
*S Hidden Forbidden Miasma ~ Vorpis Alph Sea*
Ren: *panting*
Samekh: …Are you quite finished yet? You know you cannot defeat me.
Ren: *panting* *BEEP, BEEP!* …Hehehe… Maybe…I don’t have to…win… Maybe I just…need to stall…
Samekh: …I should’ve known. Your fighting patterns… Your tendency to evade my attacks… It was all a ruse.
Ren: Yup! And you fell for it!
Samekh: Don’t insult me. I knew about your plan right from the start. I just felt the need to test your fighting ability. And I must say I’m disappointed.
Ren: Disappointed!? Why you--!
Samekh: We’re done here. *plays harsh musical note, blowing Ren away and lowering her HP to zero* …Pathetic… *leaves*
Ren: …Damn… I really thought…I could win… A-Auntie Rei…
*S Hidden Forbidden Delusions ~ Enchanted City Naval Monte*
Hanabi: *loud yawn* Man, I’m bored… *BEEP, BEEP!* Aw!!! Is it time already?!? I didn’t ever get to fight!!! *stomps towards the Chaos Gate*
*…Mac Anu Dome…*
Kaga: Good work, everyone. Despite a few snags in the line, the plan was a success. *takes out Spin Natsume dual swords*
Tsukiyomi: My dual swords!!! Thanks so much, Kaga!!!
Kaga: *bows* It was my pleasure. Now then…if you’ll excuse me… *gates out*
Tsukiyomi: *sigh* What a guy… All that work just to get my blades back…
Hanabi: *singing* Yomi’s got a crush! Yomi’s got a crush!
Tsukiyomi: *blush* S-Shut up, Hanabi!
All: *laugh*
Tsukiyomi: *deeper blush* S-Stop laughing at me!
*…Samurai 7 @home…*
Haruhi: *holding letter* …Forgive me, Master Kyuzo… I’ve been nothing but a nuisance to you since the very beginning… *puts letter and Guest Key down* …Goodbye, Master Kyuzo… *walks out*
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
Ciel: Wow… It’s just like Dad said… Too cool!
~*~*~*~
Ciel: Hey, are you okay?
Haruhi: W-Who…are you?
~*~*~*~
IYOTEN: Well, well, well… Looks like we got ourselves a couple o’ caged rats!
~*~*~*~
Haruhi: …Why are you helping me?
Ciel: To tell you the truth, I don’t really know. Hehehe.
~*~*~*~
Haruhi: …Master Kyuzo…
17th Phase: With Willpower & Wisdom!
