Post by Hayate on Aug 4, 2007 13:38:54 GMT -5
~ Eternal City of Mac Anu; April 27, 2037 ~
*Hayate logs in*
Hayate: *sigh* (Samurai 7 has 3 of the .hack//Arms and we have none… I wish I could do something for the guild… It’s been a little under three weeks since I joined and I haven’t done anything helpful…)
Izumi: …Hayate?
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *falls over* …Oh, Izumi. It’s only you.
Izumi: Sorry. Did I scare you?
Hayate: *gets up* No, it’s nothing. I was just…thinking.
Izumi: …It’s about Samurai 7, isn’t it?
Hayate: …
Izumi: …
*suddenly, Izumi takes Hayate’s hand*
Izumi: C’mon. I wanna show you something.
Hayate: Huh? W-What?
Izumi: *giggles* You’ll see.
*Izumi takes Hayate to the Hulle Granz Cathedral*
Hayate: …What is this place?
Izumi: We all have our favorite Lost Grounds. Coolidge’s favorite Lost Ground is Dragus Runica. Neon’s is Briona Gwydion. Usa-chan’s is Arche Koeln. And this…this is my favorite Lost Ground – Hulle Granz.
Hayate: …It’s nice.
*inside the cathedral…*
Izumi: Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I’d come here to mull things over. Somehow, the atmosphere of this place always seems to calm me.
Hayate: …I kinda know what you mean. Hmm?
*Hayate notices the Tri-Edge sign on the altar*
Hayate: …So… Is there another reason why you brought me here?
Izumi: …You’re feeling down about Samurai 7, aren’t you? Well, personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Hayate: Not a big deal!? But, Izumi--!
Izumi: So what if Kyuzo has 3 of the 7 .hack//Arms. That only means that there are 4 that he doesn’t have.
Hayate: …You sure like to look at the bright side, don’t you, Izumi?
Izumi: Not really. You just have to “think fourth-dimensionally.”
Hayate: What’s that mean?
Izumi: It means that you must always look at the big picture. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by miniscule details. …It’s what my grandfather always tells me.
Hayate: Your grandfather?
Izumi: Yes. Daichi Kojima.
Hayate: Wait… Daichi Kojima? Isn’t that the name of that famous scientist who works for CC Corp?
Izumi: Yup! In fact, he was the first one to come up with the idea for the steam bike. He even came up with the theory of “Kojima’s Principle”. It states that when a steam bike goes over 100 MPH, the data around the steam bike starts to expand, making it more permeable. When that happens, it can create rifts in the data. And these data rifts could lead anywhere.
Hayate: …Sounds heavy.
Izumi: Yeah, it is. That’s why all steam bikes are outfitted with limiters to make sure they can’t go over 100 MPH… Well, let’s head back, shall we?
Hayate: Yeah. Thanks for taking me here, Izumi.
Izumi: My pleasure.
*as Hayate and Izumi exit the area, the Tri-Edge sign is seen glowing brightly; later that day, Hayate is seen riding around Breg Epona on his steam bike*
Hayate: …
*suddenly, a group of steam bikers pulls in front of him, blocking his path*
Hayate: *gasp*
Biker 1: Hey there, champ…
Biker 2: Hard ta believe dat a little runt like you is da fastest steam biker in Da World… Makes me sick just thinkin’ ‘bout it…
Hayate: What do you want?
Biker 3: Our guildmasta wants ta have a word wit’ ya…
*the apparent guildmaster of the group, Batsu, dismounts his steam bike and walks up to Hayate*
Batsu: “The World’s Fastest Biker”…Pleased to meet ya. The name’s Batsu. I’m the guildmaster of the Supersoniks.
Hayate: …Hi.
Batsu: I’ll cut right to the chase. *points finger at Hayate’s face* I challenge you to a one-on-one steam bike race!
Hayate: …I’m sorry?
Batsu: What, did I stutter!? I said you and I are havin’ a race right now!
Hayate: Uh… I’m actually kinda busy right now… Could I take a rain check?
Batsu: …Oh… I get it… You’re chicken!
Hayate: What!? I’m not chicken!!
Bikers: *making chicken noises*
Batsu: Heh! My boys seem to disagree with ya, kid!
Hayate: Grrrr… Alright, fine!!! Let’s race!!!
Batsu: *smirks*
*D Hidden Forbidden Racetrack ~ The Abandoned Racecourse of Dragus Runica*
*Hayate and Batsu rev up their steam bikes*
Batsu: Ready to lose, shorty?
Hayate: Tch! Just try to keep up!
Biker 1: Okay! This is a one-lap race around the track! The first to make it to the finish line is the winner!
Batsu: …Hey, half-pint! What do you say we make this race more interesting?
Hayate: Huh? What do you mean?
Biker 1: READY…
Batsu: Like… The winner of the race gets the loser’s bike!
Hayate: W-What!? I’m not agreeing to that!
Biker 1: …SET…
Batsu: Heh… You chickening out already, munchkin!?
Hayate: Grrrr…
Biker 1: GO!!!!
*Hayate and Batsu pull away from the starting line at the same time*
Hayate: (I can’t afford to lose this race!)
Batsu: (Heh! This race is in the bag!) *enters a private chat with his guild members* Okay, boys! Time for Operation: Slippery When Wet!
Bikers: Right, boss!
*just as Batsu pulls away from a certain point, the Supersoniks dump slippery oil onto the track*
Hayate: Oh, crap!
*as soon as Hayate hits the oil slick, his steam bike goes into a spinout*
Hayate: WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bikers: Hahahahahaha!!!!
*once free of the oil slick, Hayate comes to a stop*
Hayate: Grrrr… Those cheating bastards! I’m not losing this race! *speeds away*
*after about 10 seconds, Hayate catches up with Batsu*
Batsu: Grrrr… Okay! Time for Operation: Flatline!
Bikers: We’re on it, boss!
*just as Batsu pulls away from another point, the Supersoniks drop sharp spikes onto the track*
Hayate: Hmph! I don’t think so!
*Hayate presses a button on his steam bike’s panel, causing a thin metal coating to materialize around his steam bike’s wheel, letting him run over the spikes with ease*
Batsu: Grrrr… You nitwits are useless!
Bikers: W-We’re sorry, boss!
Batsu: Oh, whatever! We’re almost at the finish line! I’ll take it from here!
*just as Hayate and Batsu are neck-and-neck, Batsu presses a button on his bike’s panel…*
Computerized Voice: LIMITER REMOVED.
*…causing him to speed far ahead of Hayate*
Hayate: Hey! You removed your limiter! That’s not fair!
Batsu: All’s fair in love and war, kiddo!
Hayate: Grrrr… (Looks like I have no choice…) *presses button on bike panel*
Computerized Voice: LIMITER REMOVED.
*suddenly, Hayate speeds ahead and is once again neck-and-neck with Batsu; both are going at 97 MPH*
Hayate: …
*…98 MPH…*
Batsu: …
*…99 MPH…*
Bikers: …
*…100 MPH…*
*suddenly, Hayate sees the data around him begin to distort, and his bike emits a faint blue glow*
Hayate: Huh? What’s going on?
Batsu: Hey, kid! Knock off the stupid lightshow!
Hayate: It’s not me that doing it!
*just then, in a condensed white light, Hayate’s steam bike speeds through a data rift, leaving only a trail of fire; after crossing the finish line, Batsu dismounts his bike and looks around*
Batsu: The hell!? Where’d he go?!?
*meanwhile, Hayate’s bike speeds through the other end of the data rift, sending him to the Hulle Granz Cathedral; the bike comes to a screeching halt just before Hayate crashes into a wall*
Hayate: …Whew… That was too close… Huh?
*Hayate suddenly jumps off of his bike in piercing pain*
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Cold-cold-cold-cold-COLD!
*Hayate walks up to the bike and tries to touch it, but pulls away at the last second*
Hayate: Ah!! What the hell!? …Hmm?
*turning away from the bike momentarily, Hayate looks up at the chapel*
Hayate: Is this…Hulle Granz? But it feels…different somehow…
*Hayate puts his bike away and walks into the chapel; the Tri-Edge sign he saw there before was gone, and there was also a statue of a girl that wasn’t there before*
Hayate: What happened? Where’d that statue come from?
*just then, Hayate hears the doors of the chapel creak open*
Hayate: Uh-oh! Gotta hide!
*Hayate hides behind one of the church pews and catches a glimpse of the duo who walks in – a Twin Blade in reddish-orange garbs and a dark-skinned Edge Punisher*
Hayate: Who are those guys? And what’s with those character designs? They look so primitive…
Punisher: This place is so…creepy…
Twin Blade: …
*suddenly, a goblin-like monster jumps out and attacks the two*
Punisher: Aah! What is that thing!?
*the Twin Blade draws his dual swords and destroys the monster with ease*
Punisher: *sigh* Hehe… P-Pretty weak, huh?
Twin Blade: …
*as the two walk up to the statue, Hayate sneaks out of the chapel*
Hayate: Something really weird is going on-- Oof!
*suddenly, Hayate bumps into a Blade Brandier with wings and falls over*
Hayate: Ow!
Brandier: Watch where you’re going, punk! *walks off*
Hayate: …Hmph!
*Hayate walks towards the edge of the chapel’s lookout and tries to locate the Chaos Gate*
Hayate: Hey! What’s the deal here!? Where’s the transporter!? …Oh, wait. There’s a “Gate Out” option on my menu. That wasn’t there before.
*Hayate gates out of the area and warps back to…*
Hayate: …Huh?!?!?
*…the Aqua (not Eternal) City of Mac Anu*
Hayate: What the hell happened!? Mac Anu looks so small now!!
*Hayate wanders through the city, trying to figure out what happened*
Hayate: This is too weird… Oof!
*just then, Hayate bumps into another character – a Lord Partizan in red clothing – and falls over*
Lawliet: Hey, watch where I’m going, n00b! *walks off*
Hayate: What is with everyone today?!?
: Are you alright?
Hayate: Huh?
*looking up, Hayate sees a blond-haired Lord Partizan girl extend a hand to him*
Hayate: Oh. T-Thanks. I’m okay.
*standing up, Hayate meets the girl’s face*
Hayate: …Huh? *gasp* Y-You’re… You’re… Gardenia!!!!
Gardenia: *sigh* Oh, great… Another fanatic…
Hayate: …
Gardenia: …Why are you looking at me like that? Do you have a problem!?
Hayate: Uh… N-No! Of course not! W-Why would I have a problem? Hehehe…
Gardenia: …Whatever. Anyway, I’d stay away from Lawliet if I were you.
Hayate: Low-who?
Gardenia: That Long Arm you just bumped into. He’s nothing but trouble. *walks off*
Hayate: (Wow… So that was mom’s character… Did she say Long Arm? That class hasn’t existed for over 20 years…) *gasp* Wait a second!
Izumi: …When a steam bike goes over 100 MPH, the data around the steam bike starts to expand, making it more permeable. When that happens, it can create rifts in the data. And these data rifts could lead anywhere…
Hayate: …No way… *walks up to a nearby player* Uh, excuse me?
PC: Huh?
Hayate: Could you tell me what today’s date is?
PC: Uh, it’s the 27th of April.
Hayate: I know, I know! But what year is it!?
PC: …2010. *walks off* Weirdo…
Hayate: …No way… There’s just no way… I went back in time?!?!?
*20 minutes later, Hayate wanders around Fort Ouph*
Hayate: It’s true… I don’t know how, but it’s true… I’m actually 27 years in the past. And on top of that, I can’t log out. So then… How am I gonna get back home? …Wait! I know!
*in a random sunny field, Hayate boards his steam bike and starts revving it up*
Hayate: If going 100 MPH got me here, then going 100 MPH a second time should get me back!
*fully revved up, Hayate speeds away until he’s going 110 MPH, but the data doesn’t distort*
Hayate: What’s going on!? Why is nothing happening!? …Huh? AAAHHH!!!
*seconds later, Hayate crashes into a rock, and Hayate is sent flying off the bike and into a bushel of Twilight Onions*
Onions: Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion!
Hayate: …Okay… This obviously isn’t working…
Onions: Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion!
Hayate: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
Onions: …
*back in Mac Anu, Hayate wanders into the back alley and rests against the wall*
Hayate: *sigh* Okay… Let’s recap… Problem: I go 100 MPH on my steam bike and wind up in the year 2010. Theory: I go 100 MPH again and go back to the year 2037. Experiment: I go 100 MPH. Conclusion: Nothing happens. Realization: I’M STUCK HERE!!!!! *sigh* Now what do I do?
: …Having problems?
*looking up, Hayate sees a white-garbed Shadow Warlock standing on the wall*
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *jumps up* Who the hell are you?!? …You look like a Warlock, but you’re holding a staff…
: …Warlock?
Hayate: … (Oh, yeah. That’s right. Shadow Warlocks won’t exist for another 7 years. Of course she doesn’t know about them.) …It’s nothing. …Uh…
Helba: Oh. You may call me Helba. Hmm… I must say, I’ve never seen a Player Character design quite like yours.
Hayate: Oh, uh… M-Mine’s a new PC model. Hehehe…
Helba: I see. You seem troubled, young man. Any way I can help?
Hayate: …I’m not sure you can help, Miss Helba. But…I guess you could say that I’m lost. Not just in the game, but in real life too.
Helba: Hmm… I see. Well, when one has lost one’s way, it always helps to retrace one’s steps.
Hayate: (Hmph. Easy for you to see.) …Retrace my steps, huh? Hmm…
Izumi: Steam bike… 100 MPH… Kojima’s Principle…
Hayate: *gasp* That’s it! Kojima’s Principle!
Helba: Hmm?
Hayate: Tell me! Do you know if Daisuke Kojima has a character in this game?
Helba: Daisuke Kojima? Hmm…
Hayate: …
Helba: …Ah, yes! Now I remember! He does have a character in The World. He usually strays around in the back alleys of Carmina Gadelica. His character name is EB.
Hayate: Great! Thanks! *runs off*
Helba: …“And so the lost sheep finds its way back into the arms of its beloved shepherd.” Hehehe…
~ L Server ~ Cultural City of Carmina Gadelica ~
Hayate: Let’s see… EB… EB… Oh! There he is!
*a middle-aged Wavemaster PC is seen arguing with the Grunty Herder in the back of Carmina Gadelica*
EB: Why must you be so difficult?!?
Herder: No, no, a thousand times NO!!! I’m not giving you one of my Grunties, and that’s final!!!
EB: Then what am I supposed to test my newly developed propulsion system on!?
Herder: Hmm… How about YOURSELF?!?!?
EB: Hmph! Fine! Be that way! But know that you, sir, have made yourself a powerful enemy!
Hayate: Uh… Excuse me?
EB: Wait!!!! Don’t say anything!!!
Hayate: …Uh…
EB: I said don’t speak!!! I’m going to read your thoughts!!! …Hmm… Okay… You’ve come a great distance…
Hayate: Yes! You see--
EB: DON’T SPEAK, I SAID!!!!!
Hayate: *gulp*
EB: …Uh… You want me to give a donation to the Crimson Knights!!!
Hayate: What!? No!!
EB: No? Okay, hold on… You want me to sell me a subscription to the ALTIMIT Daily News!!!
Hayate: …Mr. Kojima, I need your help. I’m from the future, and I need your help to get back to the year 2037.
EB: …Great Scott… Do you realize what this means?
Hayate: …No, should I?
EB: It means…that I can’t read minds at all! My experiment was a failure! *runs off crying*
Hayate: W-Wait!!! Where are you going?!? Mr. Kojima, come back!!!
TO BE CONTINUED…
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
EB: Do you mean to tell me that you traveled back in time on a vehicle whose design that I invented due to a theory on data that I conceived!?
Hayate: Uh… Yes?
~*~*~*~
Gardenia: …Are you following me or something!?
~*~*~*~
Hayate: …Cherry lightning storm?
Natsume: You’ve never heard of the cherry lightning storm?!? It’s one of the greatest wonders of The World! You just have to see it!
~*~*~*~
Kite: DATA DRAIN!!!!!
~*~*~*~
EB: Quickly!!! You only have 17 seconds left!!!
13th Phase: Timeless Tribulations, Part 2!
*Hayate logs in*
Hayate: *sigh* (Samurai 7 has 3 of the .hack//Arms and we have none… I wish I could do something for the guild… It’s been a little under three weeks since I joined and I haven’t done anything helpful…)
Izumi: …Hayate?
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *falls over* …Oh, Izumi. It’s only you.
Izumi: Sorry. Did I scare you?
Hayate: *gets up* No, it’s nothing. I was just…thinking.
Izumi: …It’s about Samurai 7, isn’t it?
Hayate: …
Izumi: …
*suddenly, Izumi takes Hayate’s hand*
Izumi: C’mon. I wanna show you something.
Hayate: Huh? W-What?
Izumi: *giggles* You’ll see.
*Izumi takes Hayate to the Hulle Granz Cathedral*
Hayate: …What is this place?
Izumi: We all have our favorite Lost Grounds. Coolidge’s favorite Lost Ground is Dragus Runica. Neon’s is Briona Gwydion. Usa-chan’s is Arche Koeln. And this…this is my favorite Lost Ground – Hulle Granz.
Hayate: …It’s nice.
*inside the cathedral…*
Izumi: Whenever I have a lot on my mind, I’d come here to mull things over. Somehow, the atmosphere of this place always seems to calm me.
Hayate: …I kinda know what you mean. Hmm?
*Hayate notices the Tri-Edge sign on the altar*
Hayate: …So… Is there another reason why you brought me here?
Izumi: …You’re feeling down about Samurai 7, aren’t you? Well, personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal.
Hayate: Not a big deal!? But, Izumi--!
Izumi: So what if Kyuzo has 3 of the 7 .hack//Arms. That only means that there are 4 that he doesn’t have.
Hayate: …You sure like to look at the bright side, don’t you, Izumi?
Izumi: Not really. You just have to “think fourth-dimensionally.”
Hayate: What’s that mean?
Izumi: It means that you must always look at the big picture. Don’t let yourself be dragged down by miniscule details. …It’s what my grandfather always tells me.
Hayate: Your grandfather?
Izumi: Yes. Daichi Kojima.
Hayate: Wait… Daichi Kojima? Isn’t that the name of that famous scientist who works for CC Corp?
Izumi: Yup! In fact, he was the first one to come up with the idea for the steam bike. He even came up with the theory of “Kojima’s Principle”. It states that when a steam bike goes over 100 MPH, the data around the steam bike starts to expand, making it more permeable. When that happens, it can create rifts in the data. And these data rifts could lead anywhere.
Hayate: …Sounds heavy.
Izumi: Yeah, it is. That’s why all steam bikes are outfitted with limiters to make sure they can’t go over 100 MPH… Well, let’s head back, shall we?
Hayate: Yeah. Thanks for taking me here, Izumi.
Izumi: My pleasure.
*as Hayate and Izumi exit the area, the Tri-Edge sign is seen glowing brightly; later that day, Hayate is seen riding around Breg Epona on his steam bike*
Hayate: …
*suddenly, a group of steam bikers pulls in front of him, blocking his path*
Hayate: *gasp*
Biker 1: Hey there, champ…
Biker 2: Hard ta believe dat a little runt like you is da fastest steam biker in Da World… Makes me sick just thinkin’ ‘bout it…
Hayate: What do you want?
Biker 3: Our guildmasta wants ta have a word wit’ ya…
*the apparent guildmaster of the group, Batsu, dismounts his steam bike and walks up to Hayate*
Batsu: “The World’s Fastest Biker”…Pleased to meet ya. The name’s Batsu. I’m the guildmaster of the Supersoniks.
Hayate: …Hi.
Batsu: I’ll cut right to the chase. *points finger at Hayate’s face* I challenge you to a one-on-one steam bike race!
Hayate: …I’m sorry?
Batsu: What, did I stutter!? I said you and I are havin’ a race right now!
Hayate: Uh… I’m actually kinda busy right now… Could I take a rain check?
Batsu: …Oh… I get it… You’re chicken!
Hayate: What!? I’m not chicken!!
Bikers: *making chicken noises*
Batsu: Heh! My boys seem to disagree with ya, kid!
Hayate: Grrrr… Alright, fine!!! Let’s race!!!
Batsu: *smirks*
*D Hidden Forbidden Racetrack ~ The Abandoned Racecourse of Dragus Runica*
*Hayate and Batsu rev up their steam bikes*
Batsu: Ready to lose, shorty?
Hayate: Tch! Just try to keep up!
Biker 1: Okay! This is a one-lap race around the track! The first to make it to the finish line is the winner!
Batsu: …Hey, half-pint! What do you say we make this race more interesting?
Hayate: Huh? What do you mean?
Biker 1: READY…
Batsu: Like… The winner of the race gets the loser’s bike!
Hayate: W-What!? I’m not agreeing to that!
Biker 1: …SET…
Batsu: Heh… You chickening out already, munchkin!?
Hayate: Grrrr…
Biker 1: GO!!!!
*Hayate and Batsu pull away from the starting line at the same time*
Hayate: (I can’t afford to lose this race!)
Batsu: (Heh! This race is in the bag!) *enters a private chat with his guild members* Okay, boys! Time for Operation: Slippery When Wet!
Bikers: Right, boss!
*just as Batsu pulls away from a certain point, the Supersoniks dump slippery oil onto the track*
Hayate: Oh, crap!
*as soon as Hayate hits the oil slick, his steam bike goes into a spinout*
Hayate: WHOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bikers: Hahahahahaha!!!!
*once free of the oil slick, Hayate comes to a stop*
Hayate: Grrrr… Those cheating bastards! I’m not losing this race! *speeds away*
*after about 10 seconds, Hayate catches up with Batsu*
Batsu: Grrrr… Okay! Time for Operation: Flatline!
Bikers: We’re on it, boss!
*just as Batsu pulls away from another point, the Supersoniks drop sharp spikes onto the track*
Hayate: Hmph! I don’t think so!
*Hayate presses a button on his steam bike’s panel, causing a thin metal coating to materialize around his steam bike’s wheel, letting him run over the spikes with ease*
Batsu: Grrrr… You nitwits are useless!
Bikers: W-We’re sorry, boss!
Batsu: Oh, whatever! We’re almost at the finish line! I’ll take it from here!
*just as Hayate and Batsu are neck-and-neck, Batsu presses a button on his bike’s panel…*
Computerized Voice: LIMITER REMOVED.
*…causing him to speed far ahead of Hayate*
Hayate: Hey! You removed your limiter! That’s not fair!
Batsu: All’s fair in love and war, kiddo!
Hayate: Grrrr… (Looks like I have no choice…) *presses button on bike panel*
Computerized Voice: LIMITER REMOVED.
*suddenly, Hayate speeds ahead and is once again neck-and-neck with Batsu; both are going at 97 MPH*
Hayate: …
*…98 MPH…*
Batsu: …
*…99 MPH…*
Bikers: …
*…100 MPH…*
*suddenly, Hayate sees the data around him begin to distort, and his bike emits a faint blue glow*
Hayate: Huh? What’s going on?
Batsu: Hey, kid! Knock off the stupid lightshow!
Hayate: It’s not me that doing it!
*just then, in a condensed white light, Hayate’s steam bike speeds through a data rift, leaving only a trail of fire; after crossing the finish line, Batsu dismounts his bike and looks around*
Batsu: The hell!? Where’d he go?!?
*meanwhile, Hayate’s bike speeds through the other end of the data rift, sending him to the Hulle Granz Cathedral; the bike comes to a screeching halt just before Hayate crashes into a wall*
Hayate: …Whew… That was too close… Huh?
*Hayate suddenly jumps off of his bike in piercing pain*
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!! Cold-cold-cold-cold-COLD!
*Hayate walks up to the bike and tries to touch it, but pulls away at the last second*
Hayate: Ah!! What the hell!? …Hmm?
*turning away from the bike momentarily, Hayate looks up at the chapel*
Hayate: Is this…Hulle Granz? But it feels…different somehow…
*Hayate puts his bike away and walks into the chapel; the Tri-Edge sign he saw there before was gone, and there was also a statue of a girl that wasn’t there before*
Hayate: What happened? Where’d that statue come from?
*just then, Hayate hears the doors of the chapel creak open*
Hayate: Uh-oh! Gotta hide!
*Hayate hides behind one of the church pews and catches a glimpse of the duo who walks in – a Twin Blade in reddish-orange garbs and a dark-skinned Edge Punisher*
Hayate: Who are those guys? And what’s with those character designs? They look so primitive…
Punisher: This place is so…creepy…
Twin Blade: …
*suddenly, a goblin-like monster jumps out and attacks the two*
Punisher: Aah! What is that thing!?
*the Twin Blade draws his dual swords and destroys the monster with ease*
Punisher: *sigh* Hehe… P-Pretty weak, huh?
Twin Blade: …
*as the two walk up to the statue, Hayate sneaks out of the chapel*
Hayate: Something really weird is going on-- Oof!
*suddenly, Hayate bumps into a Blade Brandier with wings and falls over*
Hayate: Ow!
Brandier: Watch where you’re going, punk! *walks off*
Hayate: …Hmph!
*Hayate walks towards the edge of the chapel’s lookout and tries to locate the Chaos Gate*
Hayate: Hey! What’s the deal here!? Where’s the transporter!? …Oh, wait. There’s a “Gate Out” option on my menu. That wasn’t there before.
*Hayate gates out of the area and warps back to…*
Hayate: …Huh?!?!?
*…the Aqua (not Eternal) City of Mac Anu*
Hayate: What the hell happened!? Mac Anu looks so small now!!
*Hayate wanders through the city, trying to figure out what happened*
Hayate: This is too weird… Oof!
*just then, Hayate bumps into another character – a Lord Partizan in red clothing – and falls over*
Lawliet: Hey, watch where I’m going, n00b! *walks off*
Hayate: What is with everyone today?!?
: Are you alright?Hayate: Huh?
*looking up, Hayate sees a blond-haired Lord Partizan girl extend a hand to him*
Hayate: Oh. T-Thanks. I’m okay.
*standing up, Hayate meets the girl’s face*
Hayate: …Huh? *gasp* Y-You’re… You’re… Gardenia!!!!
Gardenia: *sigh* Oh, great… Another fanatic…
Hayate: …
Gardenia: …Why are you looking at me like that? Do you have a problem!?
Hayate: Uh… N-No! Of course not! W-Why would I have a problem? Hehehe…
Gardenia: …Whatever. Anyway, I’d stay away from Lawliet if I were you.
Hayate: Low-who?
Gardenia: That Long Arm you just bumped into. He’s nothing but trouble. *walks off*
Hayate: (Wow… So that was mom’s character… Did she say Long Arm? That class hasn’t existed for over 20 years…) *gasp* Wait a second!
Izumi: …When a steam bike goes over 100 MPH, the data around the steam bike starts to expand, making it more permeable. When that happens, it can create rifts in the data. And these data rifts could lead anywhere…
Hayate: …No way… *walks up to a nearby player* Uh, excuse me?
PC: Huh?
Hayate: Could you tell me what today’s date is?
PC: Uh, it’s the 27th of April.
Hayate: I know, I know! But what year is it!?
PC: …2010. *walks off* Weirdo…
Hayate: …No way… There’s just no way… I went back in time?!?!?
*20 minutes later, Hayate wanders around Fort Ouph*
Hayate: It’s true… I don’t know how, but it’s true… I’m actually 27 years in the past. And on top of that, I can’t log out. So then… How am I gonna get back home? …Wait! I know!
*in a random sunny field, Hayate boards his steam bike and starts revving it up*
Hayate: If going 100 MPH got me here, then going 100 MPH a second time should get me back!
*fully revved up, Hayate speeds away until he’s going 110 MPH, but the data doesn’t distort*
Hayate: What’s going on!? Why is nothing happening!? …Huh? AAAHHH!!!
*seconds later, Hayate crashes into a rock, and Hayate is sent flying off the bike and into a bushel of Twilight Onions*
Onions: Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion!
Hayate: …Okay… This obviously isn’t working…
Onions: Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion! Twilight Onion!
Hayate: SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
Onions: …
*back in Mac Anu, Hayate wanders into the back alley and rests against the wall*
Hayate: *sigh* Okay… Let’s recap… Problem: I go 100 MPH on my steam bike and wind up in the year 2010. Theory: I go 100 MPH again and go back to the year 2037. Experiment: I go 100 MPH. Conclusion: Nothing happens. Realization: I’M STUCK HERE!!!!! *sigh* Now what do I do?
: …Having problems?*looking up, Hayate sees a white-garbed Shadow Warlock standing on the wall*
Hayate: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *jumps up* Who the hell are you?!? …You look like a Warlock, but you’re holding a staff…
: …Warlock?Hayate: … (Oh, yeah. That’s right. Shadow Warlocks won’t exist for another 7 years. Of course she doesn’t know about them.) …It’s nothing. …Uh…
Helba: Oh. You may call me Helba. Hmm… I must say, I’ve never seen a Player Character design quite like yours.
Hayate: Oh, uh… M-Mine’s a new PC model. Hehehe…
Helba: I see. You seem troubled, young man. Any way I can help?
Hayate: …I’m not sure you can help, Miss Helba. But…I guess you could say that I’m lost. Not just in the game, but in real life too.
Helba: Hmm… I see. Well, when one has lost one’s way, it always helps to retrace one’s steps.
Hayate: (Hmph. Easy for you to see.) …Retrace my steps, huh? Hmm…
Izumi: Steam bike… 100 MPH… Kojima’s Principle…
Hayate: *gasp* That’s it! Kojima’s Principle!
Helba: Hmm?
Hayate: Tell me! Do you know if Daisuke Kojima has a character in this game?
Helba: Daisuke Kojima? Hmm…
Hayate: …
Helba: …Ah, yes! Now I remember! He does have a character in The World. He usually strays around in the back alleys of Carmina Gadelica. His character name is EB.
Hayate: Great! Thanks! *runs off*
Helba: …“And so the lost sheep finds its way back into the arms of its beloved shepherd.” Hehehe…
~ L Server ~ Cultural City of Carmina Gadelica ~
Hayate: Let’s see… EB… EB… Oh! There he is!
*a middle-aged Wavemaster PC is seen arguing with the Grunty Herder in the back of Carmina Gadelica*
EB: Why must you be so difficult?!?
Herder: No, no, a thousand times NO!!! I’m not giving you one of my Grunties, and that’s final!!!
EB: Then what am I supposed to test my newly developed propulsion system on!?
Herder: Hmm… How about YOURSELF?!?!?
EB: Hmph! Fine! Be that way! But know that you, sir, have made yourself a powerful enemy!
Hayate: Uh… Excuse me?
EB: Wait!!!! Don’t say anything!!!
Hayate: …Uh…
EB: I said don’t speak!!! I’m going to read your thoughts!!! …Hmm… Okay… You’ve come a great distance…
Hayate: Yes! You see--
EB: DON’T SPEAK, I SAID!!!!!
Hayate: *gulp*
EB: …Uh… You want me to give a donation to the Crimson Knights!!!
Hayate: What!? No!!
EB: No? Okay, hold on… You want me to sell me a subscription to the ALTIMIT Daily News!!!
Hayate: …Mr. Kojima, I need your help. I’m from the future, and I need your help to get back to the year 2037.
EB: …Great Scott… Do you realize what this means?
Hayate: …No, should I?
EB: It means…that I can’t read minds at all! My experiment was a failure! *runs off crying*
Hayate: W-Wait!!! Where are you going?!? Mr. Kojima, come back!!!
TO BE CONTINUED…
~ Next Time on Infected! ~
EB: Do you mean to tell me that you traveled back in time on a vehicle whose design that I invented due to a theory on data that I conceived!?
Hayate: Uh… Yes?
~*~*~*~
Gardenia: …Are you following me or something!?
~*~*~*~
Hayate: …Cherry lightning storm?
Natsume: You’ve never heard of the cherry lightning storm?!? It’s one of the greatest wonders of The World! You just have to see it!
~*~*~*~
Kite: DATA DRAIN!!!!!
~*~*~*~
EB: Quickly!!! You only have 17 seconds left!!!
13th Phase: Timeless Tribulations, Part 2!
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Storyline of Phase 12 inspired by “Back to the Future” movie series
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Storyline of Phase 12 inspired by “Back to the Future” movie series
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