Post by xoecz on Oct 18, 2006 20:42:12 GMT -5
Prelude:
Xoecz:Hello and welcome to the Dawn of Destiny Retorts. Making eveyone's life a living hell.
Arkryon:That's right we're here to royally screw you in the @ss.
Twilight:Big F.uckin Tanks.
Xoecz: Of course this is only a sample of what we have in store for you.
*********
Riku: Beware I am the overlord of the site. The great and powerful Riku!!!
Squall: You're not so great. A lot of people make fun of you behind your back, and pee on your clothes while you're not looking.
Riku:*sigh*Well at least I have the power to screw the s.hit out of your account.
Axel:People respect me much more than you.
Riku: Well I also have the power to screw the s.hit out of your account.
Axel: The only thing you can do is screw the s.hit out of your mom.
Mickey: ROFLMAOBMT. You just got BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNED.
Xoecz: Well we're off to a good start.
Arkyron: It start's like this everday. I pee on Riku's clothes. You burn the American flag. And Twilight spews random phrases from the moment he wakes up.
Twilight: F.ucking n00bs. I have more skittles than you.
Arkyron and Xoecz:.................................
Riku and Axel:.................................
Mickey: This area is now under control of the Disney Kingdom!
Xoecz: Get out of my thread mouse. You've basically screwed it in the @ss by just speaking. And you basically own the rest of the site.
Mickey: Convert and Defect to my army. I have the Mcbar and the Mcburger, and The Mcarmy, and the McMall, and the......*Gets rolled up by tumbleweeds*Oh F.ucktards.
Twilight: Oblivion and rage. I will PWNT you all. I EAT BABIES.
Everyone:....................................................................c.ockbag
End of Episode 1 Beginning of Episode 2
The Show:
Xoecz: Welcome to the second part of the series. In the past few minutes we've suffered from extreme budget cuts, and Sephiroth has sent Cloud to the pits of hell yet again.
Cloud: Oh you guys can go f.uck yourselves. You just stood there drinking beer and tequila while I was sucked into the pits of hell.
Xoecz: Well that's your problem and not o....
Hartz:*uses chloroform on the entire Dawn of Destiny crew* Sleep my beauties sleep. You'll soon be making me billions of cash, and I'll have a lifetime supply of hookers at my beck and call. HAHAHA.
*********
Xoecz: WTF happened.
Mansex:Why do I get the feeling we're about to be on an evil reality show on the NBC. Which is a total ripoff of the ansem retorts show, but of course that's what most network's do these days.
Xoecz: You're names backward again.
Mansex:F.uckballs. Mickey keeps f.ucking with my username.
Mickey: MANSEX!!!HAHAHA. So how's your date with Larxene going? I guess you like hot transvestite sex.
Xemnas:YOU C.OCKSUCKING SON OF A B.ITCH.
Hartz:*coughcough*
Oogie: Yes do you have a cold?
Hartz:.......*Fires gun at Oogie* *Oogie dies*
Arkyron: HOLY HELL!!!
Twilight: You just got punk'd Oog. I will now harvest your soul!!!
Hartz: Well now that that's out of the way. You will now all work for me. Competing with Fox's Ansem Retorts. The twist is *Drum Roll* You're stuck with FANGIRLS!!!
Xoecz and Arkyron: SON OF A B.ITCH.!
Xemnas and Mickey:SON OF A B.ITCH!
Twilight:MADRE DE DIOS!!
Axel:Oh this s.hit is f.ucked up in the @ss.
Riku:Indeed..............................c.ockbag.
To Be Continued...
End of Episode 2 Beginning of Episode 3
The Transvestite
Hartz: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! The first fangirl will be:*Drum roll*. Larxene!!
Xoecz:......................................
Arkyron:..........................................
Squall: That would be a transvestite.
Hartz:Wait, what? Oh s.hit! Where the hell did the real Larxene go?
Meanwhile in Cuba
Random Cuban: Hey lady want to come to my house and have a little party? *nudge,nudge*
Real Larx:I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HIGH
Random Cuban: Looks like I'm getting some "action" tonight"
*******************
Hartz: Well it would take money out of my hooker account to find the real Larx, and that just won't do. You're going to have to stick with her for now.
Arkryon: Dude, we can see her leghair, and God help us if that thing bends over.
Cloud: Hey who's the babe?
Larxene: TeeHee.
Xoecz: How the f.uck did you get out of the pits of hell!
Cloud: Elevator. It's an hour long ride to the surface though. I listened to my all Madonna mix tape, and paged through the latest Cosmopolitan on the ride to the surface.
Xoecz: No comment.
Axel: Ummm......you know what this whole thing is bulls.hit. I'm getting out of here.
Hartz: I wouldn't do that. I know how to keep you controlled ever since I found out all the information from your childhood Alexus.
Twilight:ALEXUS. HAHAHA AXEL'S NAME IS ALEXUS. My middle name is Madam Margaret. Oh wait maybe I shouldn't have said that. F.uck it all.
Axel:...............................F.uckin A.
To be continued
End of Episode 3 Beginning of Episode 4
Squall's Dilemma:
Squall:*sigh*
Xoecz:What's wrong with you.
Squall: I don't know maybe it's the fangirls, or maybe it's the picture Seifer sent me of him f.ucking Rinoa in the ass. He's doing the peace sign for God's sake.
Xoecz:Well I'm not gonna say go rip his nuts off. Also I'm not going to ask you to turn this into a soap opera. Cloud and Larx are already doing that, and boy is there a lot of gay references and Cindy Lauper concerts in that show.
Squall:Well do you have any good advice?
Xoecz:Time to bring out the chainsaw. The chainsaw will solve all your problems.
Squall:So wait you want me to....
Xoecz:Uh-huh
Squall:Sounds like a plan
5 minutes later
Xoecz:Well?
Squall: Ok well it appears I don't have an actual permit to cut down trees. So I had to follow these wierd lumberjack guys. They were all big and muscular, and kept saying how cute I was. They also had a knack for looking at my pants. They also kept urging me to put on these frilly undergarments.
Xoecz:You motherf.ucking idiot I meant for you to have a chainsaw duel with Seifer! You know, hack the s.hit out his limbs. Cut his d.ick off, and impale him through the chest. Anyway haven't you heard? The whole lumberjack community is a bunch of f@gs. So are the steel workers, and the miners, and all police officers in New Jersey.
Squall: You know what? F.uck it. Where's Selphie?
Twilight: Only you can prevent forest fires.
Xoecz and Squall:............No comment.................................c.ockbag
To be Continued
End of Episode 4 Beginning of Episode 5
The Show Begins! Part 1
Prelude:
Xoecz: Hi it's me Xoecz of the world-famous Dawn of Destiny Retorts.
Arkyron: I wouldn't exactly call it world famous. More like only known to about 20 people famous.
Xoecz: Close Enough! Well anyway these next to episodes will be the best yet. There will be a gang war and drugs *Hot sex*.
Arkyron: What do you mean by *hot sex*?
Xoecz: I mean me and your mother havin a good time! Biotch you just got PWNT!!
Arkryon: No Comment
****************
Riku: Yep *sips a beer*
Axel: Yep *sips a beer*
Arkryon: Yep *sips a beer*
Xoecz: Yep *crushes beer can against his head, and then drinks it*
Hartz: Okay we are officially starting the Dawn of Destiny Retorts Show!
Riku: Yep...wait, what?
Arkryon: I thought that whole thing was a joke
Hartz: WTF!! Why would I go through all the trouble to chloroform all 40 or so members of the DoD gang. Do you really know how much money I spent getting that chloroform. IT'S LIKE 150 DOLLARS FOR ONE GODD.AMN BOTTLE!!
Xoecz: Your first mistake was not going to Wal-Mart. They sell their chloroform for low low prices. Wal-Mart when you're here you're family! Your second mistake was thinking that we're all one big gang. We're a multitude of gangs.
Arkryon: Yeah the departed Oogie had the "I'm a f.uckin potato bag gang", and I have the "B.itch know you're place! gang".
Xoecz: The major fight we have is the ancient argument of boxers or briefs? Arkryon's gang likes boxers, and Oogie's gang likes briefs. I'm not in either army as I am a conciensious objector.
Hartz: WTF is a conciensious objector!
Axel: Your momma! But seriously I think this deserves a song. Maestro please!
Mickey: Maestro had a massive stroke yesterday, and he's dead *Mickey shoves a bodybag behing a tumbleweed. I CAN PLAY!
Axel: Guess it will have to do.
He's the conciencious objector
He's the biggest p.ussy around
He likes it in the sphincter
And wears panties and bras
He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
Chorus: He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
He skips through a meadow picking a bouquet
He likes to skip with his fellows: The entire queer eye gang
He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
Chorus:He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails.
Axel: Now for the big finish!
HE'S A P.USSYFEST AND HE DOESN'T CARE *CRESCENDO*
HE EATS FISH EGGS AND PAINTS HIS NAILS!!!
Xoecz: I f.uckin hate you so godd.amn much.
Axel: You only brought it upon yourself.
Xoecz: *Revs up chainsaw* Duely noted.
To Be Continued
End of Episode 5
Xoecz:Hello and welcome to the Dawn of Destiny Retorts. Making eveyone's life a living hell.
Arkryon:That's right we're here to royally screw you in the @ss.
Twilight:Big F.uckin Tanks.
Xoecz: Of course this is only a sample of what we have in store for you.
*********
Riku: Beware I am the overlord of the site. The great and powerful Riku!!!
Squall: You're not so great. A lot of people make fun of you behind your back, and pee on your clothes while you're not looking.
Riku:*sigh*Well at least I have the power to screw the s.hit out of your account.
Axel:People respect me much more than you.
Riku: Well I also have the power to screw the s.hit out of your account.
Axel: The only thing you can do is screw the s.hit out of your mom.
Mickey: ROFLMAOBMT. You just got BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNED.
Xoecz: Well we're off to a good start.
Arkyron: It start's like this everday. I pee on Riku's clothes. You burn the American flag. And Twilight spews random phrases from the moment he wakes up.
Twilight: F.ucking n00bs. I have more skittles than you.
Arkyron and Xoecz:.................................
Riku and Axel:.................................
Mickey: This area is now under control of the Disney Kingdom!
Xoecz: Get out of my thread mouse. You've basically screwed it in the @ss by just speaking. And you basically own the rest of the site.
Mickey: Convert and Defect to my army. I have the Mcbar and the Mcburger, and The Mcarmy, and the McMall, and the......*Gets rolled up by tumbleweeds*Oh F.ucktards.
Twilight: Oblivion and rage. I will PWNT you all. I EAT BABIES.
Everyone:....................................................................c.ockbag
End of Episode 1 Beginning of Episode 2
The Show:
Xoecz: Welcome to the second part of the series. In the past few minutes we've suffered from extreme budget cuts, and Sephiroth has sent Cloud to the pits of hell yet again.
Cloud: Oh you guys can go f.uck yourselves. You just stood there drinking beer and tequila while I was sucked into the pits of hell.
Xoecz: Well that's your problem and not o....
Hartz:*uses chloroform on the entire Dawn of Destiny crew* Sleep my beauties sleep. You'll soon be making me billions of cash, and I'll have a lifetime supply of hookers at my beck and call. HAHAHA.
*********
Xoecz: WTF happened.
Mansex:Why do I get the feeling we're about to be on an evil reality show on the NBC. Which is a total ripoff of the ansem retorts show, but of course that's what most network's do these days.
Xoecz: You're names backward again.
Mansex:F.uckballs. Mickey keeps f.ucking with my username.
Mickey: MANSEX!!!HAHAHA. So how's your date with Larxene going? I guess you like hot transvestite sex.
Xemnas:YOU C.OCKSUCKING SON OF A B.ITCH.
Hartz:*coughcough*
Oogie: Yes do you have a cold?
Hartz:.......*Fires gun at Oogie* *Oogie dies*
Arkyron: HOLY HELL!!!
Twilight: You just got punk'd Oog. I will now harvest your soul!!!
Hartz: Well now that that's out of the way. You will now all work for me. Competing with Fox's Ansem Retorts. The twist is *Drum Roll* You're stuck with FANGIRLS!!!
Xoecz and Arkyron: SON OF A B.ITCH.!
Xemnas and Mickey:SON OF A B.ITCH!
Twilight:MADRE DE DIOS!!
Axel:Oh this s.hit is f.ucked up in the @ss.
Riku:Indeed..............................c.ockbag.
To Be Continued...
End of Episode 2 Beginning of Episode 3
The Transvestite
Hartz: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! The first fangirl will be:*Drum roll*. Larxene!!
Xoecz:......................................
Arkyron:..........................................
Squall: That would be a transvestite.
Hartz:Wait, what? Oh s.hit! Where the hell did the real Larxene go?
Meanwhile in Cuba
Random Cuban: Hey lady want to come to my house and have a little party? *nudge,nudge*
Real Larx:I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HIGH
Random Cuban: Looks like I'm getting some "action" tonight"
*******************
Hartz: Well it would take money out of my hooker account to find the real Larx, and that just won't do. You're going to have to stick with her for now.
Arkryon: Dude, we can see her leghair, and God help us if that thing bends over.
Cloud: Hey who's the babe?
Larxene: TeeHee.
Xoecz: How the f.uck did you get out of the pits of hell!
Cloud: Elevator. It's an hour long ride to the surface though. I listened to my all Madonna mix tape, and paged through the latest Cosmopolitan on the ride to the surface.
Xoecz: No comment.
Axel: Ummm......you know what this whole thing is bulls.hit. I'm getting out of here.
Hartz: I wouldn't do that. I know how to keep you controlled ever since I found out all the information from your childhood Alexus.
Twilight:ALEXUS. HAHAHA AXEL'S NAME IS ALEXUS. My middle name is Madam Margaret. Oh wait maybe I shouldn't have said that. F.uck it all.
Axel:...............................F.uckin A.
To be continued
End of Episode 3 Beginning of Episode 4
Squall's Dilemma:
Squall:*sigh*
Xoecz:What's wrong with you.
Squall: I don't know maybe it's the fangirls, or maybe it's the picture Seifer sent me of him f.ucking Rinoa in the ass. He's doing the peace sign for God's sake.
Xoecz:Well I'm not gonna say go rip his nuts off. Also I'm not going to ask you to turn this into a soap opera. Cloud and Larx are already doing that, and boy is there a lot of gay references and Cindy Lauper concerts in that show.
Squall:Well do you have any good advice?
Xoecz:Time to bring out the chainsaw. The chainsaw will solve all your problems.
Squall:So wait you want me to....
Xoecz:Uh-huh
Squall:Sounds like a plan
5 minutes later
Xoecz:Well?
Squall: Ok well it appears I don't have an actual permit to cut down trees. So I had to follow these wierd lumberjack guys. They were all big and muscular, and kept saying how cute I was. They also had a knack for looking at my pants. They also kept urging me to put on these frilly undergarments.
Xoecz:You motherf.ucking idiot I meant for you to have a chainsaw duel with Seifer! You know, hack the s.hit out his limbs. Cut his d.ick off, and impale him through the chest. Anyway haven't you heard? The whole lumberjack community is a bunch of f@gs. So are the steel workers, and the miners, and all police officers in New Jersey.
Squall: You know what? F.uck it. Where's Selphie?
Twilight: Only you can prevent forest fires.
Xoecz and Squall:............No comment.................................c.ockbag
To be Continued
End of Episode 4 Beginning of Episode 5
The Show Begins! Part 1
Prelude:
Xoecz: Hi it's me Xoecz of the world-famous Dawn of Destiny Retorts.
Arkyron: I wouldn't exactly call it world famous. More like only known to about 20 people famous.
Xoecz: Close Enough! Well anyway these next to episodes will be the best yet. There will be a gang war and drugs *Hot sex*.
Arkyron: What do you mean by *hot sex*?
Xoecz: I mean me and your mother havin a good time! Biotch you just got PWNT!!
Arkryon: No Comment
****************
Riku: Yep *sips a beer*
Axel: Yep *sips a beer*
Arkryon: Yep *sips a beer*
Xoecz: Yep *crushes beer can against his head, and then drinks it*
Hartz: Okay we are officially starting the Dawn of Destiny Retorts Show!
Riku: Yep...wait, what?
Arkryon: I thought that whole thing was a joke
Hartz: WTF!! Why would I go through all the trouble to chloroform all 40 or so members of the DoD gang. Do you really know how much money I spent getting that chloroform. IT'S LIKE 150 DOLLARS FOR ONE GODD.AMN BOTTLE!!
Xoecz: Your first mistake was not going to Wal-Mart. They sell their chloroform for low low prices. Wal-Mart when you're here you're family! Your second mistake was thinking that we're all one big gang. We're a multitude of gangs.
Arkryon: Yeah the departed Oogie had the "I'm a f.uckin potato bag gang", and I have the "B.itch know you're place! gang".
Xoecz: The major fight we have is the ancient argument of boxers or briefs? Arkryon's gang likes boxers, and Oogie's gang likes briefs. I'm not in either army as I am a conciensious objector.
Hartz: WTF is a conciensious objector!
Axel: Your momma! But seriously I think this deserves a song. Maestro please!
Mickey: Maestro had a massive stroke yesterday, and he's dead *Mickey shoves a bodybag behing a tumbleweed. I CAN PLAY!
Axel: Guess it will have to do.
He's the conciencious objector
He's the biggest p.ussy around
He likes it in the sphincter
And wears panties and bras
He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
Chorus: He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
He skips through a meadow picking a bouquet
He likes to skip with his fellows: The entire queer eye gang
He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails
Chorus:He's a p.ussyfest and he doesn't care
He eats fish eggs and paints his nails.
Axel: Now for the big finish!
HE'S A P.USSYFEST AND HE DOESN'T CARE *CRESCENDO*
HE EATS FISH EGGS AND PAINTS HIS NAILS!!!
Xoecz: I f.uckin hate you so godd.amn much.
Axel: You only brought it upon yourself.
Xoecz: *Revs up chainsaw* Duely noted.
To Be Continued
End of Episode 5
