Post by Hayate on Aug 29, 2010 20:23:57 GMT -5
.hax//WTF 2.0
Lost Ground of the Dead
*several yards outside the houses’ perimeter, a group of zombie-like PCs wanders the city aimlessly*
Zombies: *moaning*
*a normal party of PCs enters*
PC 1: …Anyone notice it’s starting to look very Night-of-the-Living-Dead-ish around here?
PC 2: As if this place couldn’t get any weirder…
*picking up on the party’s presence, a small number of zombies approaches*
Zombies: *moaning*
PC 3: Uh… Hey, guy. What’s good?
*without any provocation, the zombies pounce on the Player and begin feasting on his flesh*
PC 3: OH, GOD, WHY?!?!?
PC 1: o.0
PC 2: 0.o
Zombies: *moaning*
PC 1: …Run now?
PC 2: Oh, yeah.
*in fear for their lives, the two PCs standing flee into the city; continuing their aimless wander, the zombie army eventually finds its way into the vicinity of the houses; meanwhile, inside the boys’ house, Gilgamesh and Vyce face each other in Super Street Fighter IV*
Vyce: C’mon! What you got!? What you got!?
Gilgamesh: Bring it, cat-ears! Your Cammy ain’t shit!
Kyuzo: …This bores me… I wanna play some Modern Warfare.
Vyce: I played some “Modern Warfare” with your mom last night. Hehehe.
Kyuzo: …
*picking up a wooden chair, Kyuzo breaks it over Vyce’s head; the break in Vyce’s concentration wins Gilgamesh the match*
Gilgamesh: Hah! In your face, bitch! Who’s next!?
Vyce: …Why does everything look purple…?
*driven bored by the happenings around the house, Kyuzo goes up to the window…*
Kyuzo: …Hmm?
*…and sees the zombies approaching*
Kyuzo: …Hey, guys? Either I’m on something right now, or there are zombies outside.
Gilgamesh: Don’t make me take your crack away, Kyuzo.
Neon: *goes up to the window* …Actually, I see them too.
Hayate: Oh, god, what now…?
*their attention turned away from the TV, the boys all go up to the window to see the encroaching army of zombies*
Kaeion: Oh, great… It’s always SOMETHING with this place, isn’t it?
Ciel: How the hell did they find this place?
Kaeion: …How long has there been a huge freakin’ hole in that brick wall?
All: … *looks at Jack*
Jack: …WHAT?!?
Hayate: You’ve been doing your stupid homemade dynamite experiments again, haven’t you?
Jack: >.> <.< …Maybe.
Hayate: Remind me to remove your arms later.
*meanwhile, the girls next door come to discover the nearing army of zombies as well*
Ayliori: Look, Miharu, it’s your family!
Miharu: …What?
Ayliori: …You know… ‘Cuz you’re all brain-dead products of inbreeding.
Miharu: *eye twitches* …Funny. Hey, Hanabi, you know where we keep the cyanide?
Saber: Not now, girls. Let’s just take care of this before it gets out of hand.
*the 18 housemates regroup to their respective front porches to confront the mob*
Briar Rose: I’ll handle this. Ahem! *through a megaphone* Attention, zombie freaks! …GET OFF OUR DAMN LAWN!!!
Zombies: *moaning*
Kyuzo: …That was your big plan, ‘Chesticles’?
Rose: I don’t see you doing anything helpful!
Chibi-Usa: Here, let me try!
*Chibi-Usa seizes Briar Rose’s megaphone, but instead of speaking into it, Chibi-Usa throws it at one of the zombies’ heads; no effect*
Chibi-Usa: …Well, that’s all I got.
Rose: *eye twitches*
*Briar Rose suddenly picks Chibi-Usa up and tosses her into the crowd of zombies*
Chibi-Usa: AAH!!!
Rose: That was my only megaphone, you bitch!
Neon: USA-CHAN!!!
Kyoko: She’s fine. More importantly, how do we deal with “Zombieland” out here?
Hayate: They’re not zombies.
Gwen: …I’m sorry, is this your first day here? Do you NOT know what a zombie looks like?
Hayate: I’ll explain later. Everyone inside.
*the housemates retreat indoors; 17 enter, but the door is shut on Jack*
Jack: …Guys? *knocks on door* Guys? …Hey, guys, what the hell?
Hanabi: Nice knowing ya, Jacky!
Jack: OH, COME ON!!!
*in the boys’ living room…*
Vyce: Okay, Hayate. What’d you mean by “they’re not zombies”? Or do we gotta have a movie marathon to educate you?
Hayate: I know what zombies look like, okay!? Pale skin, rotting flesh -- the whole deal! But look at them out there! Do they look like any zombies you’ve seen in the movies? They don’t have pale skin. Their flesh isn’t decomposing. And besides, need I remind you guys that this is an online game? We can’t even die here. Watch.
*drawing his sword, Hayate hacks Kyuzo’s head off*
Hayate: Hehe. I’ve always wanted to do that.
*Kyuzo re-spawns moments later*
Kyuzo: You just made my list, Blondie!
Hayate: See? To become a zombie, you’d have to actually DIE first. Those aren’t zombies out there. It’s just the hundreds of Players who are stuck in this game like us going on a cannibalistic feeding frenzy due to malnutrition.
Kyoko: *sarcastically* Oh, gee, is that all? And for a second there, I was starting to worry.
Ren: Okay, so they’re not “zombies” in the strictest sense of the word. It doesn’t change the fact that we’re not safe here. What are we supposed to do?
Neon: Hold a singing competition?
All: …
Neon: …Sorry. Had a bit of a “Jack moment” there.
Kaeion: Only one way to deal with zombies… *draws and loads dual pistols* …Blow their f**kin’ brains out!
Hayate: Again -- not zombies!
Kaeion: If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, IT’S A F**KING DUCK, OKAY?!?
Miharu: Hold on. You said yourself that we can’t die here. The zombies won’t stay dead even after we kill them.
Ayliori: Zombies that can’t ever die… *shudder* There’s a scary thought.
Hayate: Hmm…
*just then, something comes crashing through the window*
All: !!!
*Jack is seen fending off one of the “zombies” with his bare hands*
Jack: AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
*once he manages to break free of its grip, Jack draws his broadsword and decapitates the “zombie”; it shortly vanishes*
Jack: *panting*
Kyuzo: Whoa… Nice job, Jacky-boy. Didn’t know you had it in ya.
*just then, Jack spins around and kills Kyuzo with his broadsword*
All: o.0
Jack: YOU GUYS ARE F**KING ASSES!!!
Kyuzo: *re-spawns* Okay, that’s twice today now! Is there anyone here who DOESN’T have it in for me!?
Kaga: …You’re kidding, right?
*in several moments, the zombie Jack killed re-spawns in the middle of the living room “unzombified”*
Saber: He’s…back to normal.
Ciel: It’s just like that time I caught a cold! Kyuzo killed me ‘cuz I kept sneezing on him, and when I came back, my cold was gone!
Briar Rose: …That’s convenient.
PC: Ugh… Killer hangover… Where am I? …Where are my pants?
*looking up, the Player sees himself surrounded by some of the girls*
PC: …Did I get lucky last night?
Ayliori: Only in your dreams, ‘Tighty-Whities’.
PC: *stands up* Hey… Sweet place, guys. Mind if I crash here for a few days?
Hayate: …Get out.
PC: *looks out window* …But there are zombies out there--
Hayate: GET THE F**K OUT!!!!!
PC: Aah! *jumps through broken window*
Hayate: *sigh* …So! Zombie killing spree, anyone?
Hanabi: *draws blade sword* I’m in!
Girls: … *looks at Hanabi*
Hanabi: What!? After 100 hours of Left 4 Dead, you think I’m gonna pass this up!?
Gwen: *draws lance* Can’t argue with that!
*outside, after inching her way out from underneath the zombie army, Chibi-Usa crawls up to the front door*
Chibi-Usa: Finally…made it… Thought I was…done for… Just…a little…further…
*just then, the housemates burst through the front door and end up trampling her*
Vyce: WHOO!!!
Miharu: DO OR DIE!!!
Ayliori: GENERIC CRY OF EXCITEMENT!!!
Chibi-Usa: …Hate…you all…
*with weapons in hand, the housemates mow down the army of “zombies” and make their way toward the brick wall that borders the houses and the rest of the city*
Kaga: Hehehe. This is kinda fun.
Kyuzo: Hell yeah! This calls for some sweet zombie-killing music!
*Kyuzo takes out a boom box and starts playing Dethklok music, but Kaga quickly shuts the boom box off*
Kaga: …No.
Kyuzo: Awww…
*once the party reaches the wall, they briefly stop to formulate an attack plan*
Saber: We should split into two groups -- a smaller group to guard the houses, and a larger group to fan out across the city.
Hayate: Kyuzo and Vyce, you two stay here and look after things. Miharu will give you magical support, and Ayliori for healing if necessary. Now let’s see… Since Kaeion and Saber are the strongest among us, they’ll be fine in a group by themselves.
Saber: Understood.
Kaeion: Whatever.
Kyuzo: Bow-chika-wow-wow-- *gets shot*
Kaeion: *holding dual pistol* That makes 3, buddy. Wanna shoot for 4?
Hayate: Okay! We’ll split up like this! I’m with Ciel and Hanabi…
Ciel: Rock on!
Hanabi: My blade hungers for zombie blood!
Hayate: …Jack with Gwen and Briar Rose…
Jack: WHOO!
Gwen/Rose: …Goddammit…
Hayate: …Kaga with Ren and Kyoko…
Kaga: Right!
Ren: Okay!
Kyoko: Meh.
Hayate: …and Neon with Gilgamesh and… Wait. I think we’re missing someone.
Neon: No, we aren’t.
Hayate: You sure? ‘Cuz--
Neon: I’m sure! Let’s just go already!
: Wait for me, Neo-niichan!!!Neon: CRAP IN A HAT!!!
*finally, Chibi-Usa catches up with the others*
Chibi-Usa: *panting* Y’know, one day, when no one’s looking, I’m gonna kill all of you…!
Gilgamesh: Keep living the dream, girl.
Hayate: Okay, cool, that balances out nice. Neon’s with Gilgamesh and Chibi-Usa.
Neon: I vote we keep Usa-chan here to look after the house!
Gilgamesh: …I second that actually…
Hayate: Don’t worry, Neon. The house has enough people guarding it. Let’s move, people!
Neon: …I’m gonna kill him someday.
Gilgamesh: And I’d help you get rid of the body.
*as the groups spread out into the city, Kyuzo, Vyce, Miharu, and Ayliori stand by with their weapons ready; the PC from earlier approaches*
PC: Hey, you guys got any pants?
Vyce: …Dude, would you get the f**k outta here?!?
PC: Eeeep! *runs away*
*drawn by Vyce’s outburst, a group of zombies starts closing in*
Kyuzo: Hehehe! Showtime!
*roughly one hour into the invasion, each team’s progress is steady; the team consisting of Hayate, Ciel, and Hanabi is seen eliminating zombies in the Chaos Gate Square; both being Blade Brandiers, Hayate and Hanabi’s joint effort makes quick work of the surrounding army*
Hayate/Hanabi: Devil Sword!
*yet another pair of zombies falls*
Ciel: *whistles* Nice work, guys.
Hayate: I second that. You’re pretty good at this, Hanabi.
Hanabi: Compared to Tanks, this is easy!
Ciel: Hehehe. …Huh?
*from atop a raised platform, out of Hayate and Hanabi’s fields of view, a lone zombie sneaks up; once in position, it pounces*
Ciel: Guys, above you!
Hayate/Hanabi: !!!
Zombie: *snarls*
Hayate: Look out!
*Hayate shoves Hanabi out of the way, giving Ciel ample room to swing his anchor like a baseball bat and smash the zombie’s skull as it approached*
Ciel: Whew… You guys okay?
*as a result of him shoving Hanabi, Hayate ends up on top of her*
Hayate: …
Hanabi: … *blush*
*as the two lie there, a camera is heard shuttering*
Ciel: *holding camera* Nice! That’s another for the scrapbook!
Hayate: *gasp* Oh, you son of a--!!! Get over here!!!
Ciel: Hell no!
Hayate: Give me that camera, you little assmunch!
Ciel: You’ll have to kill me first!
Hayate: DON’T TEMPT ME!!!
Hanabi: …This is gonna be a long day…
*meanwhile, the team of Jack Russell, Gwen, and Briar Rose weeds out zombies in the residential district*
Gwen: *sigh* Just a few more, and we’ll be done with this area.
Rose: Meh, not that it matters. This is pretty boring so far.
Jack: I know, right? Hmm… You know what this zombie invasion could use!?
Gwen: Oh, God, here we go…
Jack: GRATUITOUS FANSERVICE!!!
Gwen/Rose: *sweatdrop* …Huh?
Jack: Quick, Rose! Show me your panties! *gets punched into a wall*
Rose: Not in this or any other lifetime, nads-for-brains!
Gwen: Now you see what I have to deal with…
*just then, a large group of able-bodied zombies appears at the other end of the clearing*
Rose: Heads up. We got company.
Zombies: …
Gwen: …They’re not moving.
Jack: *stands up* Maybe they’re scared of us.
Rose: Doubtful.
*all of a sudden, the zombies break into a sprint towards the party*
Gwen: Holy crap, they’re coming in quick!
Rose: Alright! *pounds fists together* Suddenly, this isn’t boring anymore! BRING IT ON, ZOMBIE BASTARDS!!!
*elsewhere, Kaga, Ren, and Kyoko come to the three-way fork in the road from Episode 11*
Ren: Oh, not again…
Kaga: *points to left path* We should go that way.
Ren: HELL NO!!! I swallowed a bunch of AIDA the last time we went that way! Kyoko, you decide!
Kyoko: *shrug* Fine. *points down right path* That way.
*following Kyoko’s instruction, the group heads up the right path…but soon comes back running and screaming as a large group of zombies chases after them*
Zombies: *snarling*
Kyoko: Since when do zombies move this fast?!?
Ren: I HATE THIS PLACE!!!!!
*meanwhile, Kaeion and Saber speed through hordes of zombies in the fountain plaza*
Kaeion: This is almost too easy…
Saber: Don’t let your guard down. They could still get the drop on us.
Kaeion: Oh, please. A 10-year-old would have little trouble dealing with these things.
*in the moments that followed, a large group of burly Ya Tribe zombies steps out into the open*
Zombies: *moaning*
Kaeion: Oh, brother…! Just when I thought they couldn’t be any slower…!
*just then, much to Kaeion’s surprise, the zombies move in with amazing speed and quickly outnumber the two*
Kaeion: Oh, what the f**k?!?
*Kaeion and Saber decapitate the zombies one by one, and at first it appears they’d survive the tremendous wave unscathed, but one of the last zombies standing manages to break past Kaeion’s defenses and sink its teeth into his left arm*
Kaeion: GAH!!!
Saber: Kaeion!
*Saber finishes off the last zombie and quickly tends to Kaeion’s wound*
Kaeion: Aah!!! I’ve been bitten!!! It’s all over for me!!! I can feel my humanity slowly slipping away!!! Quickly, Saber!!! You have to kill me before the change is complete!!!
Saber: …
Kaeion: …
Saber: …
Kaeion: …Nothing’s happening, is it?
Saber: Nope.
Kaeion: …Worst. Zombie invasion. Ever.
*lastly, in the plaza at the far west end of the city…*
Chibi-Usa: EEEK!!! A ZOMBIE!!!
Neon: Gale Blade!
Chibi-Usa: EEEK!!! A ZOMBIE!!!
Gilgamesh: Whirlwind!
Chibi-Usa: EEEK!!! A ZOMBIE!!!
Neon/Gilgamesh: WOULD YOU STOP ALREADY?!?!?
Chibi-Usa: *blinks*
Neon: Every 3 seconds, it’s “EEEK!!! A ZOMBIE!!!”! You’re driving us insane!
Gilgamesh: Here’s an idea -- instead of screaming your head off all day, make yourself useful and help us take ‘em out!
Chibi-Usa: *sniffles* But… They’re so scary…!
Neon: They’re not even that hard to kill!
Chibi-Usa: They’re still scary!!! *hugs Neon’s legs* Protect me, Neo-niichan!!!
Neon: AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
*suddenly picking Chibi-Usa up, Neon proceeds to toss her into a crowd of zombies*
Chibi-Usa: AAH!
Neon: *panting*
Gilgamesh: …Feel better?
Neon: *sigh* …Actually, yeah. I kinda feel bad for doing that to Usa-chan though.
Gilgamesh: She’s fine. Let’s go.
*at that moment, an unseen force in the middle of the crowd appears to be driving the zombies back*
Neon: The hell?
*just then, a great shockwave blows all the zombies away at once; in the center of it all, Chibi-Usa stands with a broadsword in her hands and rage in her eyes*
Chibi-Usa: *heavy panting*
Neon: o.0
Gilgamesh: …Dude, your sister’s got, like, the perfect mix of “whiny” and “psychotic” that really freaks me the hell out.
Neon: Our parents should’ve never stopped paying for her therapy…
*back at the house…*
Ayliori: *panting* They just keep coming! There’s no end to them!
Miharu: I know, right!? If killing them turns them back to normal, how can there still be this many!?
Vyce: …Hey, Kyuzo, you know what I just realized…?
Kyuzo: How incredibly hot I am?
Vyce: F**k you and your ego, man, and just listen. Check out that zombie over there.
*Vyce turns Kyuzo’s attention to a zombie wearing no pants*
Kyuzo: …Dude. Gay.
Vyce: FOCUS, YOU IDIOT!!! Doesn’t that guy look familiar?!?
Zombie: *moaning*
Kyuzo: …Do I owe him money? *gets hit with a hammer* OW!
Vyce: IT’S THE SAME GUY FROM EARLIER!!!!!
Kyuzo: Huh… You’re right, it is him. But didn’t we…y’know, “de-zombie” him?
Vyce: Yeah, I thought so too…
Miharu: AAAHHH!!! A-AYLIORI!!!
*spinning around, Kyuzo and Vyce discover Ayliori exhibiting the same behavior as the zombies*
Ayliori: *moans*
Vyce: The hell?!? They didn’t even touch her!
Miharu: W-What do we do!?
Kyuzo: …
*without hesitation, Kyuzo beheads Ayliori, killing her*
Miharu: o.0
Vyce: … *looks at Kyuzo* …Dude.
Kyuzo: Hey, it’s a zombie invasion! Every man for himself! You think I’m about to die for your punk-ass!?
*the five parties in the city eventually regroup at the northernmost point of the city, where they find a large fortress-like door*
Kaga: Whoa… I’ve never seen this part of the city before…
Ren: I wonder what’s behind this door…
All: …
*everyone except Hayate suddenly takes a step back*
Gwen: Way to volunteer, Hayate!
Briar Rose: Good show!
Hayate: Oh, you guys suck!
*defeated, Hayate approaches the door*
Hayate: *sigh*
*placing both hands on the door, Hayate slowly inches the door open; as soon as it’s opened by a certain amount, several hands reach out from the other side…*
Hayate: …Eh?
*…and drag Hayate inside*
Hayate: Aah!
*the door immediately shuts closed afterward*
Hayate: *from the other side* AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
All: O.O
Jack: …Well then! There clearly isn’t anything in there! Let’s go home! *gets hit in the head with the butt of a sword* OW!
Hanabi: We’re not leaving without Hayate. …We’re going in.
*Hanabi begins dragging Jack toward the door by his feet; Jack claws at the ground in an effort to get away*
Jack: NO! Let me go! I don’t wanna go in there! Waaaah!
Gilgamesh: …What’s her deal? Something happen?
Ciel: I gots photos.
Gilgamesh: GIMME!
*Hanabi attempts to push the door open, but to no avail*
Hanabi: Argh! Dammit! It won’t budge!
Jack: Oh, well! Can’t say we didn’t try! NOW LET GO OF MY FOOT!
Hanabi: …Hey, Jack?
Jack: Y-Yeah?
Hanabi: You got any more of that homemade dynamite?
Jack: …
*moments later, the door is blown in with explosives, and the 13 housemates burst in with weapons drawn*
Rose: Knock, knock!
All: …
Kaeion: …Oh, f**k me.
*the housemates are stared down by hundreds of zombies, their numbers now including Hayate; in addition, at the rear of the army stood a giant spider-shaped AIDA*
Zombies: *moans*
AIDA: *shrieks*
Gilgamesh: …HAH! I knew it! AIDA controlling the zombies! F**king knew it! “Malnutrition”, my ass!
Saber: Then our objective is clear -- destroy the AIDA!
*sensing the oncoming danger, the AIDA forces its influence upon the party; its eyes glimmer with red light*
Saber: !!!
Chibi-Usa: Saber! You okay!?
*as she slowly turns to face the party, Saber begins exhibiting zombie-like behavior as well*
Saber: *moans*
Neon: …Well, we’re boned.
*into Kaeion’s hands appears a buster rifle*
Kaeion: I can take the AIDA out with this! You guys just hold the zombies off while I’m--
Rose: “Chargin’ mah lazer”? Hehehe. *gets hit in the head with a rock* OW! …Bitch…
Neon: *draws dual swords* Well, I did always wonder who would win in a fight between me and Saber! Let’s find out! HYAAAAAH!!!
*as Neon approaches, Saber cuts his HP to zero with one strike*
Neon: Goddammit…! *falls over dead*
*appearing to command the zombies himself, Hayate draws his blade sword and points it forward, signaling the zombies to go on the offensive*
Zombies: *snarling*
Hanabi: Here they come!
*an all-out battle ensues between the housemates and the zombies while Kaeion charges energy in the barrel of his rifle; he takes aim at the spider AIDA*
Kaeion: That’s right, you ‘fugly’ S.O.B… Just keep looking away while I get ready to set your ass on fire…
*before long, after most of the zombies have fallen, the housemates attempt to take on Saber, but she easily dispatches any who would approach*
Saber: *moaning*
Gwen: This is bullshit! The hell does this bitch EAT?!?
Ren: WAIT! I’ve got an idea! Hey, Saber!
Saber: *moans questioningly*
*Ren takes out the StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty game cover*
Ren: *enticingly* Look what I got~…
Saber: *moans interestedly*
*Saber immediately drops her sword and approaches Ren*
Ren: Now, Neon!
*swooping in from the rear, Neon beheads Saber*
Neon: YES!!! VICTORY IS MINE!!!
*almost instantly, Saber re-spawns behind Neon and beheads him*
Neon: GODDAMMIT…!!!
Saber: Nice try, Neon, but no one gets the drop on--! …Hmm? *blinks* What happened?
Kyoko: Zombie-controlling AIDA. Remember?
Saber: …Oh. Right.
*elsewhere on the battlefield, Hayate and Hanabi face off; their blade swords generate a loud clang with each collision*
Hayate: *moans*
Hanabi: Heh! Even without a mind of your own, you’re not bad!
*having reached a stalemate, the two break off their confrontation and back away*
Hanabi: Tch! This is getting nowhere! Even if I manage to kill him, he’ll just become a zombie again when he re-spawns! …There’s gotta be a way…
Gilgamesh: *from off-screen* You could kiss him!
Ciel: *from off-screen* Smooch, smooch!
Hanabi: I’m gonna kiss the both of you with my FOOT if you don’t shut the f**k up!!!
*eventually, the charging phase of Kaeion’s rifle finishes*
Kaeion: Okay! Ready to rock and roll!
*sensing the condensation of energy, the spider AIDA focuses its attention on Kaeion; like before, its eyes glimmer bright-red*
Kaeion: Agh…! D-Dammit…! Gotta finish this…before it’s too late…!
AIDA: *shrieks loudly*
Kaeion: SMILE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! “DD BUSTER”… FIRE!!!!!
*from the barrel of Kaeion’s buster rifle, a wide laser beam is fired; upon impact, the AIDA disintegrates into nothing; all that remained of it was smoldering bits of data raining down from the sky*
Kaeion: *sigh* …It’s over…
*with the AIDA destroyed, the Players it was controlling all return to normal*
PC 1: H-Huh?
PC 2: Where am I?
PC 3: …I have to go to the bathroom…
*Hayate returns to his senses while lying on the ground*
Hayate: Ohhhh… My head…
Hanabi: Finally back to your old self?
Hayate: Huh? Oh. Hey, Hanabi. …Hmm? *looks down* …Why am I under a giant rock?
*meanwhile, at the house, the zombies that were still standing all collapse onto the ground*
Miharu: *panting* …Whew… It’s about damn time…
Ayliori: Ohhhh… Huh? *sits up* …Did we win?
*minutes later, the housemates on the other side of the city approach the back wall that the AIDA was standing near; on the wall was a red triangular mark*
Kaeion: And here’s the cause of all our troubles…
Hayate: A “Fake Sign”…
*using his dual pistols, Kaeion reduces the wall to rubble, effectively destroying the Fake Sign*
Briar Rose: *sigh* Thank God that’s over. I need a shower.
Gwen: I hear that.
Hanabi: …Hayate.
Hayate: Huh? What’s up, Hanabi?
Hanabi: …
Hayate: …
*just then, Hanabi hoists Hayate up by his collar*
Hayate: Ack!
Hanabi: You tell anyone what happened in town today, and I will murder you.
Hayate: G-Got it…!
Hanabi: Good. *lets go of Hayate* Now if you’ll excuse me… *walks away*
Ciel: *from off-screen* …Huh? Hanabi, what are you--? Gah! That doesn’t bend that way! Aah! UNCLE!! UNCLE!!!
*having had her way with Ciel, Hanabi takes the camera and crushes it underfoot; she then continues toward the house*
Hayate: …Note to self -- Stay away from Hanabi.
*hours later, in the boys’ house…*
Gilgamesh: Hahahaha! You suck at this game!
Neon: That’s ‘cuz you keep spamming ‘Demoncopter’, you asshole!
Kaeion: *eye twitches* Once again, everything goes back to normal, as if nothing even happened…
Hayate: And The World keeps on spinning.
Kaeion: If we weren’t stuck in an online game, y’all would’ve killed yourselves a long time ago.
Kyuzo: *groan* Bored again… *looks out window* …Hmm? What’s Jack doing out there?
Kaga: Fixing the wall HE damaged.
*outside, using bricks and cement, Jack is hard at work repairing the brick wall separating the house area from the rest of the city*
Jack: Freakin’ asses! All of ‘em! Is it too much to ask that I get even a sliver of respect around here!? God knows I’m the only one in this place with any imagination! But NOOOOO! “Jack’s an idiot!” “Jack’s a retard!” “Jack’s got the IQ of a spoon!” “Jack wouldn’t know smarts if they crawled up and bit him on the--” Gah!
*slipping on a wet patch of soil, Jack falls backward into the cement; he manages to edge himself out, but the cement covering him quickly dries, freezing him in place*
Jack: …Oh, crap… I got an itch…
*a bird lands on Jack’s head and pecks at his forehead*
Jack: *sobbing* I hate it here…!
