Post by Hayate on Jul 16, 2010 21:20:01 GMT -5
.hax//WTF 2.0
Episode18: The Newcomers, Part 1
~ During the events of “The Arrival, Parts 1 & 2” ~
*Nanao awakens in the Lost City of Nephthet Iiwan Osvelicas*
Nanao: Agh… My head… Where am I? …And why am I handcuffed to a park bench?
: For your own safety!Nanao: Eh?
*looking up, Nanao comes face-to-face with the cloaked man*
CM: The great Tri-Edge has deemed you unhealthy! We must prepare you for the “cleansing”!
Nanao: …You came at me from behind with a rock, didn’t you?
CM: *sweatdrop* Uh…
*Nanao severs the handcuffs with her blade sword, drops the bench on the cloaked man, and walks away*
Nanao: Stupid crack-head…
CM: …Why am I so unloved…?
*meanwhile…*
Baiken: Okay. Again. Why did we come here?
Gemini: Can we stop now?
Baiken: No! Now answer the goddamn question! Why did we come here!?
Gemini: …I thought it’d be cool.
Baiken: And what happened?
Gemini: …We got stuck.
Baiken: Very good.
*Baiken slices Gemini’s head off, and moments later, he re-spawns*
Gemini: Okay, we done now?
Baiken: No! Now assume the position!
Gemini: *groan, gets down on knees*
Baiken: Now. Why did we come here?
Gemini: …You’re a complete bitch. You know that, don’t you?
Baiken: ANSWER THE F**KING QUESTION!!!
*Nanao enters*
Nanao: …The hell are you guys doing?
Baiken: Teaching this rat bastard a lesson for ruining my day and, quite possibly, the rest of my life.
Gemini: I said I was sorry!
Baiken: Your apology means nothing to me!!!
*elsewhere…*
Sumomo: Bink.
Leigh: Stop it.
Sumomo: Bink.
Leigh: Stop it.
Sumomo: Bink.
Leigh: Stop it!
Sumomo: Bink.
Leigh: SHUT UP!!!
Sumomo: …
Leigh: …
Sumomo: …Bink.
Leigh: ARRRGGGHHH!!!
*Leigh takes out his bayonet to shoot Sumomo, but she vanishes in a puff of smoke just as a shot is fired*
Leigh: *panting* …Finally, she’s gone.
*just then, three Sumomo clones appear and run in a circle around Leigh*
Sumomos: Bink-bink-bink-bink-bink-bink-bink!
Leigh: *eye twitches* ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
*Leigh shoots himself in the head and falls over onto the ground; once this happens, two Sumomos vanish*
Sumomo: Hah! Told you I could get him to kill himself! Pay up!
Sony: *gives Sumomo GP* Frickin’ hyper-ass ninja…
Leigh: *re-spawns* YOU GUYS ARE ASSHOLES!!!
Sumomo: Hehehe. That was fun. …Well, I’m bored. What do we do now?
Leigh: Why don’t you set yourself on fire? Tons of fun right there.
Sony: Think they fixed the Chaos Gate yet? We should go check.
: Don’t waste your time.Sony: Hmm?
*Citan and Lucia enter*
Citan: The little lady and I just came from the square. Chaos Gate still isn’t functioning.
Lucia: I hate it here! The people are nuts, everything’s destroyed, and I stepped in what I’m REALLY hoping was a Snickers bar!
Sony: *sigh* Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do then.
Sumomo: Find someone to blame?
Sony: Bingo. Let’s go.
*the party makes its way toward the Chaos Gate Square, where Hayate, Kyuzo, and Kaeion are seen*
Citan: Oh, look. More of the “locals”.
*they witness Kaeion gate out of the Lost Ground*
Sumomo: H-Hey! That guy gated out!
Leigh: HEY, YOU!!!
Hayate: Huh?
*Hayate and Kyuzo turn to face the group*
Leigh: Did that Kaeion guy you were talking to just gate out!?
Hayate: Uh…yeah, he did, but you see--
Sumomo: So there IS a way out of here!?
Hayate: W-Well, you see, the thing is--
Lucia: TELL US!!!
Hayate: I-I don’t know!!!
Leigh: THAT’S IT! EVERYONE, ANGRY MOB FORMATION!
*the group, accompanied by several other random PCs, then draws torches and pitchforks*
Hayate: …Where’d you guys get those?
Kyuzo: *whistles* Damn. You’re on your own, buddy. *vanishes*
Hayate: H-Hey, wait! Kyuzo, don’t leave me here by myself! …Uh-oh…
*the party consisting of Nanao, Baiken, and Gemini emerges into a clearing where they watch as an angry mob of players chases Hayate*
Crowd: GET BACK HERE!!!!!
Hayate: Leave me alone, you lunatics!
Gemini: *sweatdrop* …Is it “Random Angry Mob” Day? *gets hit in the head with a rock* OW!
Baiken: I’m still mad at you! You don’t get to make stupid jokes!
Nanao: *groan* Come on. We’d better work crowd control before someone loses a vital organ.
*shortly after Hayate’s vanished from the mob’s sights, Nanao, Baiken, and Gemini enter*
Mob Member 1: Dammit, where’d he disappear to!?
Mob Member 2: You can’t hide forever, blondie!
Nanao: Alright, enough, people! Move along! Nothing to see here!
Mob Member 3: Screw you, bitch! You ain’t the boss of us!
Nanao: Okay, how about this? Go away, or else I sic ‘Crazy Sword Bitch’ here on all your asses.
Baiken: *draws blade* YO QUIERO BLOOD AND GUTS!!!
Mob: o.0
*in an instant, members of the mob flee in various directions, leaving only Sony, Leigh, Citan, Lucia, and Sumomo*
Nanao: …Aren’t you gonna leave?
Sumomo: *shrug* Meh. We were only part of that angry mob ‘cuz we were bored. Now we’ve got nothing to do.
Leigh: There’s still that setting-you-on-fire thing…
Lucia: I wanna go home! I miss Ciel!
Baiken: Cry us a river, mermaid girl! You think this is a picnic for the rest of us!?
Sony: Simmer down, ‘Pinky’, before you pop a blood vessel.
Citan: Since it seems we’ll be in this place for an extended period, it’d probably be wise to secure lodgings of some sort.
All: …
Citan: …We should find somewhere to live.
All: Ohhhhhhh…
Citan: (…I’m surrounded by elementary school dropouts…)
*together, the 8-man group departs in search of housing for their time spent in the Lost Ground*
Nanao: I already have a bad feeling about this…
Gemini: I’m hungry.
Baiken: Good, ‘cuz you’re gonna be eating my fist for a while.
Sony: …Could someone give ‘Pinky’ over here some NyQuil before she murders us when we’re not looking…?
~*~*~*~*~
~ During the events of “Settling In” ~
*having not yet found a suitable place to live, the party consisting of Nanao, Baiken, Gemini, Leigh, Sumomo, Sony, Citan, and Lucia is seen sleeping in varying positions about the fountain plaza*
Nanao: *yawn, opens eyes*
*Nanao awakes to find a large mass with its arms around her*
Gemini: *snoring*
Nanao: …Gemini?
Gemini: *yawn*
Nanao: Gemini.
Gemini: Ohhhh… Huh?
Nanao: …What are you doing?
Gemini: …I like to cuddle.
Nanao: …
*everyone else is awakened by the sound of Gemini’s body being thrown through a brick wall*
Sumomo: *yawn* …I need food.
Baiken: We could eat Gemini.
Gemini: Piss off, bitch. I just ate brick.
Lucia: Where are we supposed to get something to eat in an online game? It’s not like there’s a White Castle right around the corner.
Citan: Actually…
*Citan leads the group to a pair of adjacent buildings; one was a small but reasonably sizeable house; the other was a…*
Leigh: …How long has this Taco Bell been here?!?
Citan: When I concluded that we’d be stuck here for an undetermined amount of time, I contacted Haseo yesterday to provide us with the necessary accommodations. He said it would take overnight to prepare, so--
Sumomo: Blah-blah, big words, blah-blah, who gives a crap!? Dibs on the soft shells!
Lucia: Chalupas! With hot sauce!
Baiken: Good news, Gemini! I’ve decided not to kill you!
*hours later, the group is sprawled about the living room in the house next to the Taco Bell*
Sony: Ahhhhh… Tacos rule…
Gemini: Totally…
Sumomo: No more burritos, mommy… *hiccup*
*nearby, Nanao lounges with a taco in hand*
Nanao: Heh… I could get used to this…
*just then, Sumomo’s stomach rumbles*
Nanao: …Uh-oh…
*without hesitation, Nanao bolts outside and shuts the door behind her; a large, muffled explosion is heard inside*
All: GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Lucia: MY EYES!!!
Baiken: CAN’T BREATHE!!!
Sumomo: SORRY!!!
Nanao: *sigh* …That was too close…
TO BE CONTINUED…
