Post by Hayate on Dec 13, 2008 18:12:57 GMT -5
.hax//WTF 2.0
Episode 9: Unexpected Visitors
*in the girls’ house, Paris is seen serving breakfast to the others*
Paris: Bon appétit, mes amis!
Chibi-Usa: *bites down on French toast* Ahhh… So good…
Saber: *bites down on French toast politely* Mmm… Exceptional as always, Paris.
Paris: Hee-hee! Merci beaucoup!
Miharu: *with her mouth full* So… *swallows* …What are we doing today, girls?
Hanabi: I was thinking of going out and exploring the city a little. I’m tired of being cooped up in the house all the time. And who knows? Maybe I’ll find a real Sign for us to get home. Anyone wanna come with?
Ren: Not me. I’ve had enough of this city to last a lifetime.
Ayliori: Me too. I say let Haseo and the others do all the work.
Gwen: *sweatdrop* … *looks at Hanabi* I’m in. The farther away I am from the “abstinence twins”, the better.
Maryn: I’ll come too.
Hanabi: Sweet! It’ll be a girls’ day out!
*just then, something presses against and squeaks along the window*
All: Aah!
*Jack Russell is seen with his face pressed against the window*
All: …Jack!?
Jack: FEED ME!!! THERE’S NO FOOD NEXT DOOR!!!
All: …Maryn?
Maryn: *sigh* I’m on it.
*using her voice, Maryn conjures a tidal wave to wash Jack away*
Jack: PORQUEEEEEE!?!?!?[/i]
*in the boys’ house, Kyuzo and Shirou are seen standing outside Hayate’s room*
Shirou: Open the damn door, Hayate!
Kyuzo: Yeah! Get up off your emo ass and do something useful! MAKE ME BREAKFAST!!!
*Neon enters*
Neon: Is Hayate still sulking over Izumi?
Shirou: It’s been five days! You’d think he’d be over it by now!
Kyuzo: Shhh! …You hear something?
*the three press their ears against the door and hear music*
All: …
*inside the room, Hayate is seen draped in his bed sheets with the lights off and the curtains closed; nearby, a boom box plays music*
Boom Box: “Lonely… I’m Mr. Lonely…”
Hayate: *singing along* “I have nobody…for my own…”
*outside the room…*
Shirou: …Oh, that’s just wrong.
Kyuzo: Alright, that’s it! *draws guitar* This door’s going down!
Neon: STOP!!! *jumps in front of the door* Hayate’s going through a tough time right now! We need to be patient!
Kyuzo: I’m done being patient! Kid needs to realize that bitches come and go!
*just then, the door creaks open and Hayate is seen on the other side, glaring at Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: There, see? He’s recovering already!
Hayate: Grrrr…
Kyuzo: … *sweatdrop* …What’s up, homeboy?
*Hayate suddenly pounces on and mauls Kyuzo*
Kyuzo: Aah! He’s a madman! Get him off me!
Neon/Shirou: … *walks away*
Kyuzo: OH, YOU ASSES CAN GO TO HELL!!! Ow! Watch the face!
*meanwhile, three female PCs – a Whiplash Enforcer, a Shinobi Striker, and an Ardent Corsair – are seen standing outside the two houses*
Girl 1 (Corsair): Well, well, well… What have we here?
Girl 2 (Enforcer): My sisters… It appears we’ve finally found a place to crash…
Girl 3 (Shinobi): Hehehe… Wonder if anyone inside knows how to party…
*a short time later, Hayate descends the steps and joins everyone else downstairs*
Gilgamesh: Well, well. If it isn’t the ‘Young and the Restless’. Hehehe.
Hayate: Go jump off a cliff, Gil.
Ciel: Aw, forget about what’s-her-face, Hayate. You’re better off without her.
Vyce: Heh. Careful what you say, kid. Won’t be long before you get the same call from li’l ‘Lu-Lu’.
Ciel: …Don’t even joke about something like that.
Nue: *walks in* …
Kaga: What’s the word, Nue? Any luck finding any food?
Nue: …Nope.
All: … *sigh*
Kyuzo: ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I swear, if I don’t get any food in me soon, bodies are gonna start hitting the floor!!!
*just then, the group would hear the faint sound of crunching and chewing*
Kaga: …Where’s that sound coming from?
*looking behind the couch, the boys see Jack crouched down, eating something*
Jack: *looks at others* …Um…h-hey, guys.
Vyce: Jack… What are you eating?
Jack: *swallows* Nothing.
Ciel: Is that… *sniff* …Are those potato chips?!?
Jack: …No.
All: … *draws weapons*
Jack: o.0 *gulp*
All: GET HIM!!![/size]
*outside, the three girl PCs approach the boys’ house; just before they could knock, the door bursts open, and several housemates chase Jack outside*
Jack: HELP!!! THEY’RE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS!!![/i]
Girl 2 (Enforcer): …Well, there’s something you don’t see everyday.
Hayate: *plops down on the couch* Well…maybe a little TV will get my mind off Izumi. *turns on TV*
TV (Montel Williams): “Today on Montel – guys, and the girls who leave them for someone else.”
Hayate: … *changes channel*
TV (Jerry Springer): “You [bleep]ing [bleep]! I can’t believe you slept with him!!!”
Hayate: … *twitch* … *changes channel*
TV (Soap Opera): “I’m sorry… There’s…someone else…”
Hayate: *breaks remote in half* OH, COME ON!!!
Neon: Aw, don’t be so down, Hayate. You’ll find another girl, and she’ll be 100 times better than that two-timer Izumi.
*just then, the front door’s kicked in, and the three girl PCs enter*
Girl 3 (Shinobi): ‘Sup, boys!? Who wants to party their asses off!?
All: …
Gilgamesh: …My whore senses are tingling-- *gets struck by a chakram* Agh! My lung!
*a short time later, all 19 housemates assemble to meet the new arrivals*
Saber: …Jocelyn, Yanagi, and Kyoko… Sister PCs… Intriguing.
Jocelyn: Uh…yeah, sorry. I’m not into girls.
Saber: *twitch* That’s not what I was--
Chibi-Usa: So where’d you three come from? How’d you end up here?
Saber: H-Hey, I wasn’t finished--!
Yanagi: How do you think? New Lost Ground, bought into the hype, blah-blah-blah. Didn’t even find out about this area of the Lost Ground until today.
Ren: I see…
Vyce: Well, you’re more than welcome to stay here if you want. …Except…
Nue: …There’s no food.
Kyoko: Hehehe… Think so, huh? Follow us.
*the Kazuhiko sisters lead the others to an as-of-yet undiscovered area in the Lost Ground where tons of food was being stored*
Neon: MEAT!
Ciel: RICE!
Kaga: LIQUOR!
Jack: *hugs Jocelyn tightly* I LOVE YOU!!!!![/i]
Jocelyn: *twitch* Hey, buddy! Ever hear of “look but don’t touch”!?
Hayate: There’s enough freeze-dried food to last us a lifetime! I dunno how to thank you…um, what was your name again?
Kyoko: It’s Kyoko.
Hayate: …Kyoko…
Kyoko: …
Hayate: …
Kyoko: …Stop imagining me naked.
Hayate: *falls over comically*
*back at the houses, the housemates party in celebration of their newfound food surplus*
Kyuzo: CONGA LINE!!! *singing* I like to move it, move it! You like to move it, move it!
*nearby, Yanagi dances near Neon*
Yanagi: Heh… You’re pretty light on your feet, huh, whitey?
Neon: Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.
Miharu: *pounces on Yanagi* BACK OFF, WHORE!!!
Neon: … *sweatdrop*
Group: Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
*as the group chants loudly, Jocelyn completely empties a keg of beer*
Group: WHOOOO!!!!!
Shirou: HA! You owe me 1000 GP, bitch!
Nue: …Bastard. *gives Shirou 1000 GP*
Jocelyn: *slurring* Hahaha! I told ya I could do it! *passes out*
Group: …
Kyoko: *walks up to Hayate* Hey! Wanna dance?
Hayate: Uh… No, thanks.
Kyoko: C’mon! Just one!
Hayate: Really, I’m…not in the mood.
Kyoko: Hmph! Well, you’re no fun! *walks away* Hey, you! Wanna dance? …Oh, wait, I forgot. You’re a girl.
Ciel: I’M NOT A GIRL!!!!!
*the party goes on for hours and extends into the night; by morning, the party finally dies down*
Kyuzo: *slurring* I like to move it, move it… You like to-- *hiccup* --move it…
Hayate: Jeez, this place is a freakin’ mess…
*Hayate goes upstairs and approaches the bathroom*
Hayate: God, I smell like old nachos and booze… I need a shower…
*as he opens the bathroom door…*
Hayate: …Hmm?
*…he sees a naked Kyoko climbing out of the shower*
Kyoko: … *blush*
Hayate: …Oh, crap…
Kyoko: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, YOU PERV?!?!?[/i][/b]
*before being pelted with soap bars and shampoo bottles, Hayate quickly shuts the door*
Hayate: …
Kyuzo: *walks over* Congratulations, Hayate. You’ve finally seen a girl naked. At last you’re becoming a man. *sniffles* I’m so proud of you!
Hayate: …Worst. Week. Ever.
*hours later, the housemates assemble outside*
Maryn: Awww… You’re leaving already?
Jocelyn: Yeah. We Kazuhikos never like staying in one place for very long.
Yanagi: But if you ever have another party, ya know where to find us! Hehehe!
Jocelyn: Let’s go, my sisters!
Kyoko: Um… Actually, girls, I think I’m gonna kick back here for a while.
Yanagi: *gasp*
Hayate: (…Aw, hell…)
Kyoko: These people are pretty fun to hang out with, and a lot of the guys are kinda cute. …So…
Jocelyn: Hmph. You seem to have your mind made up. Alright, Kyoko. But know that the bond between us Kazuhikos can never be broken, and no matter the distance--
Kyuzo: Oh, wrap it up, would you, sister!? *gets struck by a kunai* Agh! My kidney!
Jocelyn: We shall be with you in spirit, Kyoko. Let’s go, Yanagi.
Yanagi: Right behind you. Take care, Kyoko!
*as Jocelyn and Yanagi leave, Kyoko turns to face the other housemates*
Kyoko: Alright then! Since I’ll be sticking around with you guys, I wanna clear up a few things! First, I want my own room – no questions asked! Second, I expect no one to interrupt my beauty sleep! Third, I don’t do chores, so don’t bother asking! Furthermore…!
Gwen: …I think our stay here just got a whole lot crappier.
Hanabi: …Yup.
Hayate: (…Dear Diary… Kill me…)
